The Autistic Student- Won't vs. Can't

It seems pretty common to hear parents of ASD children talk about a time when someone told them that their child can't or won't be able to do this, or learn that.  I come across stories like that all the time. As wrong as I think that is, that has been rarely my experience with my kids, or even myself. As a matter of fact, it's been the opposite.

I don't know how many IEP meetings that have been called by me to discuss services for Bubby. No one has ever said "He can't do it." It's always been "He can if he tried."

One Track Way

There are days, weeks even, that my head is swelled with ambitious writings, and tales waiting to be typed. Thoughts spill out in such quick succession that it's almost hard to catch them in words. To convert the images that are flowing through my mind to typed print is a challenge. I love those times.  I wish that I could quit my routine, and write for days when this happens, capturing the ideas before they float away to be never pieced together again in full by my conscious mind.  Of course, I cannot.  I still have meals to make, laundry to wash, pull-ups to change, and a child to homeschool. These are not negotiable. However, in my writer's mind I could dream all day writing one track ways entertaining myself days.

I'd like to try to describe this one track way.

Being Alone

I woke up to my husband asking me if I was okay. I tried to open my eyes, but they were all stuck together, and I was stuffy from what appeared to be sobbing.  I recall the dream I was having before I awoke, and I was sobbing in it. It affected me so much that I must have been sobbing for a while in my sleep by the looks of my pillow.

The details of the dream aren't important, but the theme is. It was about being not wanted by anyone, anywhere. I had nowhere to go that I was welcome, and yet I had to exist somewhere. The paradox was what made me feel so awful.

I have since realized that the dream was important in that it symbolized how I really feel in real life. I do talk a lot about support, and that sort of thing on this blog.  Online, and in person support is very important for special needs parents. I think if I needed some advice, or support in that area I would be able to find it online.  What I don't have is in person support for other life events.  I literally have no one to call if I had an emergency, or just needed to talk about private matters. I don't know if this is due to my autism, or just the way life is for my family, or what exactly it is that attributes to this secluded existence. I don't have any family to call on either side if I really needed help, and I have not managed to find any close friends to that I could turn to in times of need.

What does that mean? How does that effect one's life, you might ask.

5 Easy Tips for Eating Healthier on a Budget

One of the things that astounds me about America (and probably other countries, too) is how unaware we are of nutrition. I mentioned a bit of this in this entry. We are diet obsessed, but that's not the same as being healthy. Even when I do hear people talk about healthy eating it's usually all about organic whole foods markets, and posh foods many of us don't even know what they are, nor could afford on a regular basis. There is a gray area between eating a bunch of junk because we don't know any better, and going to the extreme of being that know-it-all health nut that has a huge grocery budget at their disposal.

So, how do we eat better on a budget? What are some basic rules?

A Look Back at 2013

Thinking back on this last year I can say that it has been without a doubt eventful. It's been one of those years that one grows leaps and bounds as a person. I talked about hard topics like loneliness, what it's like not to fit in anywhere, and even my natural desire to not blend in.

I covered so many school  issues with both boys that made me step out of my comfort zone. I tackled situations that I never thought I could in my wildest dreams. If you'd asked me last year if I would have been okay with attending so many IEP meetings where I was very plainly considered the enemy while people behave behind the scenes in the most unethical way possible I would have said 'possibly not.' Yet I did. When Beans got hurt  at school I wanted to run away. I didn't want to be the squeaky wheel, and even though in the end  Beans ended up homeschooled it all ended up okay as I learned to believe in myself. I overcame almost every fear that I had this year, up to including going on our local news, and giving an interview about the situation with the school, even though Bubby is still governed by the same special ed unit. If you'd have asked me if I would, or could do something like that the year before this last year I would have said absolutely NOT! It's not my nature to be in front of cameras, and it's not my nature to be loud.

This year we discussed that autistic children can be very giving