Why #Positive #Parenting?

When I created the event #PositiveParentingDay I wasn't sure what my blogging contribution would be. I thought about it for all week, and yet here I am at almost midnight with no real solid direction to go in.

At first I thought I could site studies that might prove positive parenting is effective, but I felt that might be boring to read, and in a way talking over most parents. I don't know that a lot of us know when a new study is really true, or if it's just science persuaded to support a pre-established ideal. I find most of the people that argue for aversive punishments to discipline children find comfort in doing what they know, and distrustful of new concepts that don't match what they know. So, the idea of quoting experts, and doctors wasn't appealing to me.

Then, I thought that maybe I might find some good quality sites to share about positive parenting. I thought that maybe that might help people who are unfamiliar with positive parenting know what it is, and what it isn't. I couldn't think of a way to make this entertaining, and not just a big info dump. The whole purpose of #PositiveParentingDay is to introduce parents to a different style of parenting that they may not know about, but I didn't want to do this by simply sharing links.

In the end, I have decided to just simply write about what positive parenting means to me, and why I choose to use it with my kids.

Positive parenting isn't a fancy method that I read about somewhere, or heard about on an afternoon talk show. It isn't the way I was raised, and it isn't the same exact thing other parents who use positive parenting. To me positive parenting describes where I am at as a parent of 3 very different kids. The way I have arrived where I am on this journey going on 17 years now is unique,

Growing Into Love

Like many nights, my husband came in the door tonight after 7 PM, despite leaving around 12 hours earlier.  This happens more nights than not 7 days a week. He owns his own business, and it requires backbreaking grueling labor all day, everyday.

Despite this, he comes home with a helpful attitude. always asking what he can do to help almost as soon as he comes in the door.

He comes home, understanding that my day is not always easy. His day doesn't end when he is away from work, because mine doesn't, either. We didn't arrive at this kind of give, and take relationship overnight, and I had to advocate for my needs (respectfully) plenty to get here. But, we didn't give up.  We stayed through when it was tough.  We sought marriage counseling when we needed direction.  We considered divorce many times in the last 16 years, but we stuck it through the trials, and tribulations, and let me clear- there were many life altering tribulations that we have encountered. I am glad we did.

Some ladies want diamonds,

My Autistic Son's Generous Spirit

When you here the word autism, the characteristics of sharing, love and compassion isn't always the first things to spring to mind.  I will admit not everyone on the autism spectrum possesses these character traits, but being autistic doesn't preclude one from excelling in the caring department.

I'd like to brag a little bit about my son Bubby, who is 11 and diagnosed with classic autism.  I think he displays a lot of positives traits everyday,

Why I Hide In The Atheism Closet

For many years my favorite song has been 'Imagine'  by John Lennon.  I seem to find that it is on many people's list of favorites.  It was brought back (as if it ever left) by A Perfect Circle, which is one of my favorite bands.  I can listen to it for hours, back to back.

I like the song for all of it's lyrics. I am an atheist. I don't believe there is a God. I don't think there is an afterlife.  I think today, right here, right now is all we have. I tried to be a Christian.  I tried Wicca. I tried several differently philosophies and have come to atheism, with a hint of Buddhism (which no deity is involved with) to be where I have comfortably settled. After researching, living and trying out different ideas I am pretty happy with being where I am. So, you may wonder, why is it you never talk about it?  Are you ashamed of your stance?

The Ultimate Self Accpetance Test

Yesterday, I saw this image:

 I posted it on my FB page and to my surprise a few people responded with reservation, or flat out 'No' to the question in the image.  I'm unsure of what to make of that.  If you follow my blog you will have seen that I struggle with depression and it's side kick low self-esteem.  It's something that has plagued me for as long as I can remember.  However, I can say with certainty that I think that I am a good person. A person that is worthy of friendship and love.  I think of the qualities that I think make a good companion:

*Honesty
*Kindness
*Loyalty
*Reserved (at least not overly loud and boisterous)
*Understanding of other's struggles-even if they are foreign to yourself
*Unique
*Assertive
*Generous
*Practical
*Down to earth
*Tenacious   
*Dedicated
*Reliable
*Strong work ethic
Just to name a few. I think that I embody those. I actually spend a lot of time thinking about how I come across to others and whether I am putting an image out there that I can be proud of. I try to be a person that if I met myself I would want to be friends with.  This is the ultimate in self-acceptance. If you can't be friends with yourself, if you can't like yourself, or hold your actions in the light of esteem, than how can others? Why would you not want to be friends with yourself?  If there are specific reasons, those can be changed once you identify them. If you just feel uncomfortable with the idea, then it's time for some deep soul searching. We have to be comfortable with who we are to be truly fulfilled. That is just a given. If we can't be comfortable with our inner self, we can never be fully grounded.  We risk spending a life running away from our shadow, fearing alone time. 

What qualities do you think makes a good companion? Do you feel that you posses them?

Moments That Make Our Lives Richer

Yesterday Hubby and I had the rare opportunity to have an afternoon to ourselves. It was such a gorgeous fall day that I thought it would be nice to go someplace downtown and sit on the patio of one of the restaurants for lunch.  The food was great and the patio was mostly empty, leaving us in peace.  Which was in stark contrast to the inside of the restaurant, which was full of rowdy people awaiting the football to begin.  I was so happy to not have to contend with that environment.

After we were done eating we walked along the brick streets of downtown looking at the various different shops and chatting.  Eventually, we decided to go grocery shopping, then home.

In all of the busy day to day activities I often forget to stop and remember these sweet moments that I am so grateful for.  It's these small things that make our lives richer.