Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Ultimate Self Accpetance Test

Yesterday, I saw this image:

 I posted it on my FB page and to my surprise a few people responded with reservation, or flat out 'No' to the question in the image.  I'm unsure of what to make of that.  If you follow my blog you will have seen that I struggle with depression and it's side kick low self-esteem.  It's something that has plagued me for as long as I can remember.  However, I can say with certainty that I think that I am a good person. A person that is worthy of friendship and love.  I think of the qualities that I think make a good companion:

*Reserved (at least not overly loud and boisterous)
*Understanding of other's struggles-even if they are foreign to yourself
*Down to earth
*Strong work ethic
Just to name a few. I think that I embody those. I actually spend a lot of time thinking about how I come across to others and whether I am putting an image out there that I can be proud of. I try to be a person that if I met myself I would want to be friends with.  This is the ultimate in self-acceptance. If you can't be friends with yourself, if you can't like yourself, or hold your actions in the light of esteem, than how can others? Why would you not want to be friends with yourself?  If there are specific reasons, those can be changed once you identify them. If you just feel uncomfortable with the idea, then it's time for some deep soul searching. We have to be comfortable with who we are to be truly fulfilled. That is just a given. If we can't be comfortable with our inner self, we can never be fully grounded.  We risk spending a life running away from our shadow, fearing alone time. 

What qualities do you think makes a good companion? Do you feel that you posses them?


  1. I once read a saying that has stayed with me over the years. "Live in such a way that if unkind words are spoken of you, no one would believe it." If we don't set standards for ourselves, we are in fact choosing lesser standards by not putting conscious efforts into being a better person. Thanks for the post! :)

  2. I think you're right that how a person answers is probably directly related to self esteem. I try to do the right thing and treat others as I would like to be treated.

    At the same time, I know that I am capable of doing and saying the wrong thing, acting out of my own interests etc. Everyone is but I am starting to learn that I don't have to be down on myself for those moments. I think I tend to hold myself to a higher standard than I should and it just makes life hard unnecessarily.

    I think on the whole I am a well-meaning and sincere person and I believe that does come across to most.

    1. I think you are well meaning and sincere, too. We're all wrong sometimes, but when I think of deal breakers, you know the things that I really dislike in others, I don't have any to an extreme. Things like lying, cheating and stealing, or general selfishness are at the top of that list. So, yeah I suppose it is related to self esteem, or possibly radical honesty of our own actions? I know my self esteem isn't always good, but I always try to do the right thing and to me that is what counts.

  3. I really love this post - thanks for sharing.

  4. Hmm, I think there's another facet to this, and that is living in a culture that encourages (and even rewards) negative criticism. It's everywhere: missives about "bad parents", "bad kids", "People of Wal-Mart", reality shows that exist mainly to mock the people involved, etc.

    I'm probably not explaining myself very well, sorry. I just see a possible connection between being constantly critical/judgmental of others and extending that to ourselves. After all, we know ourselves better than everyone else. Would I be friends with me, knowing all of my ugly warts and faults and all? Would I be friends with someone else like me? I hope so.

    As for what qualities make a good companion... I guess at the top of my list would be the ability to forgive easily: to be able to deal with the fact that people have faults and love despite them, y'know? Loyalty is a big one, too. Being able to laugh together, cry together. That certain 'je ne sais quoi' where you just *click*. That's the best I can describe it.

    1. I suppose that also makes sense. We see how other react to other people's faults, so we are afraid that is our were exposed we'd be less likable. Of course, we already know all of our own.

      Being able to be compassionate with another person is important. That feeling of ease you get when you're with someone that truly understands you and won't judge you. It's rare, but wonderful when you find it!

  5. This is a great post. Thank you. It's ironic though because I often find that many people who are well meaning and kind and treat people as they would want to be treated are the people who are down on themselves. But the people who are self-involved, rude, and nasty seem to feel pretty good about themselves and they like who they are. I wonder why that is.

    1. I remember thinking a lot about that when I was a kid at school. It seemed that some kids really never thought about the way they behaved or how it affected others. They just worried about themselves and others tended to like them. I remember thinking about how much that didn't make sense. Here I am 25 yrs later and I still don't know why! lol

  6. You forgot one quality, displayed by yourself: the internal motivation to let others share in and profit from what you think is valuable.
    It's this sharing that makes others life meaningful too. Days after your thoughts developed, years after they were committed to electronic ink.


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