Last night I had this dream about being at an IEP meeting for Bubby. I went to the school to drop something off and I ran into some of next year's staff for Bubby. School was just about to start in the dream. I started trying to chat with them about Bubby and they said "I hope you don't expect the same things as he got last year. This is 5th grade. It's not going to be a cart le blanche of services for him." I didn't know how to respond. I at first, thought that maybe it was just that person. But, I kept running into staff that would say the same things. I finally got upset and yelled "He has an IEP! You can't just pick and choose what services he gets! It's a legally binding document!" To which they replied that they have called a new meeting to re-assess the IEP. I went to the meeting and they said that he no longer qualifies for services. I tried arguing and I got so upset. I couldn't figure out how they could do such a thing! So, I pulled my last punch. I said "Fine! Then I guess I will have to home school him if you will not provide the proper care and services for him!" Then they started high fiving each other! I couldn't believe it! It was such a realistic feeling dream. I left the school feeling overwhelmed as I have no idea how to home school.
I'm guessing all this is symbolizing my jitters for the upcoming school year. I was not even aware I was that nervous about it, but I must be. I think it has to do with the older he gets, the less the teachers tend to go out of their way to aid him. I have no idea who his teacher is going to be next year. Usually, they have that per-determined for him, but not this year. He is getting older and the structure of school changes with each year. I think that I get worried he is getting left behind. I also worry that I will have to home school and that is something I really don't know anything about or want to do. I don't like driving into town (read that as, I have anxiety issues about driving into town so I don't) and I worry that being at home with just me all day will be a not good place for him to be socially.
But, the good news is, it was just a dream! Hopefully, next year will be just fine!
