Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Autie Exhaustion

Today, I am suffering from autie exhaustion.  What is autie exhaustion, and how does it differ from regular exhaustion, you may ask.  I am not exactly sure there is a cut, and dry answer to that.  I think there are differences.  I am fairly certain that 'typical' people get exhausted from being overstimulated sometimes, as well, especially introverts.  I think introverts will certainly understand how this feels, even if they never quite feel the depth of it the way autistics can.

This kind of issue is usually cleverly camouflaged by quick moving moods, that tend to appear,and fade without warning in depths

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Altruism + Severe #Autism? Beans shares his candy.

Yesterday, on the way home from the grocery store Beans did something I have never seen him do before.  Something that I honestly was unsure he would ever do.

Dad got a small box of Whoppers to share with Beans.  Dad was driving, so I handed the candy out to him, and Beans.  I handed a few at a time to them each, until they were gone.  Then, I gave Beans the box, because he loves to tap (stim) on empty boxes.

That's when it happened.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Why I'll Never Be Popular

I talked a little bit about loneliness, and feeling left out in my post This Is What Loneliness Feels Like To Me.  I'd like to take a step further into that realm, and describe how this impacts my life. 

I am the person that you always see sitting on the sidelines.  In a group of people in real life, or on-line, I will find a cozy little corner, and paint myself into it.  Part of that reason is this phenomenon where I have trouble finding my words. 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Mindful Awareness- Avoidance

 This is a piece that I originally guest posted for specialneeds.com awhile back, and I decided to publish it here on my blog, too.

The other day there was a knock at my door. When I answered it was an elderly lady inquiring about my husband's business.  She described what she needed and when she'd be home, stating that her husband had cancer and they were often not home during the day due to him needing frequent treatments.  As she was leaving she mentioned something about how she puts something up against her door, so people can't look inside her house during the night and see she was there alone.  I immediately felt a tinge of sadness for her. I could only imagine how she must feel during such a difficult time.  I recalled the few and far between nights I have spent alone in the house while my husband was away and how I slept with phone under my pillow and  checked the doors and windows three or four times.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Spaghetti Is NOT a Finger Food-Blog Book Tour

I'd like to share with you a little bit about a great new book Bubby, and I just read, Spaghetti Is NOT a Finger Food (and other life lessons) by Jodi Carmichael.

When Little Pickle Press's sales professional, Khadijah Lacina emailed me, and asked if I would like to be part of the blog stop tour featuring Spaghetti is NOT a Finger Food I was thrilled to join.  I thought that the idea of a blog book tour was one that seemed like a smart way for an author to promote their book in a very meaningful, fun way, but also one that is environmentally friendly as well.  I really liked the green policies of L.P.P. 

I was also excited to share the reading experience with my eleven year old autistic son. I often find that many books about Asperger Syndrome, and autism are geared toward a much younger, or much older audience than his age. I was happy to see one that was just right for him.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

This Is What Loneliness Feels Like To Me

I'm not sure how to frame this post, or what to call it.  I don't know how loneliness feels to others on the spectrum, or to anyone else, for that matter.  It's a very private feeling that is hard to describe.  That's why I can only speak for myself.  I don't know that my loneliness is a side effect of Asperger's. I think it is, but I don't know for sure how others experience it, if they do at all.

When I was a teen I remember having this conversation with a 'friend' where she said "You can be in a room full of people, and still be lonely".  I replied that I didn't think that made sense. How can one be alone, and with others at the same time.  She maintained that there was a big difference between alone and lonely. 

Monday, January 7, 2013

Dreaming Of The Past, and Looking Forward To The Future

I am one of those people that have vivid dreams that are colorful, lifelike, and so full of emotion.  I have
written about my dreams before on this blog. At first, I was hesitant, but then I am thinking...how could I leave off such a vibrant part of my mind?  How can I write about my experiences while leaving behind a big part of me?  My dream state sometimes is so real that I can't hardly tell the difference between awake, and a dream.  I don't know if this is due to my Asperger's that my brain is wired to express itself in such amazing description inside of my imagination while I sleep.  I don't know if it may be because my emotive state is so stifled while I am awake that it must express itself while I am unconscious.  It could be any of those things, but I do believe that having different way of thinking is a huge contribution to dreaming with such voracity.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

My Autistic Son's Generous Spirit

When you here the word autism, the characteristics of sharing, love and compassion isn't always the first things to spring to mind.  I will admit not everyone on the autism spectrum possesses these character traits, but being autistic doesn't preclude one from excelling in the caring department.

I'd like to brag a little bit about my son Bubby, who is 11 and diagnosed with classic autism.  I think he displays a lot of positives traits everyday,