How to Cope With Generalized #Anxiety Disorder

In my last post I discussed what Generalized Anxiety Disorder is, and what some of the common symptoms can be, and how it manifests in my life. In this post I would like to discuss some of the solutions to the issues caused by GAD. I have been doing lots of researching to come up with what I think is a good, basic starting place to address general anxiety worries. I will be trying all of these myself.

Why (and how) Mindfulness and Meditation Is Useful for People On the Autism Spectrum

I'd like to make a small post about some of the things that I have learned that have helped me to be calmer and happier as an aspie adult.  I see a lot of parents have the same concerns about their kid's emotional states that  I am beginning to learn to deal with.  Techniques, tips and strategies without relying solely on meds seems to be few and far between for parents out there that are struggling with aggression, anxiety and depression with their autistic child.  Other adults may also find some of these helpful.

Without making this entry into a long drawn out science seminar, I will try to briefly explain about what I've found in all my research, and experience.  I have often (and still do) wondered how I can be such a rational, very logical calm, kind person, except when I get triggered into being upset.  Take my body image and disordered eating for example... So illogical.  Makes absolutely no sense in the way I think about it, or behave.  I can sit here and tell you that in a calm way, without much feeling at this moment.  However, if something were to happen to trigger my anxiety about those issues, my obsessive/compulsive nature would be taking over and I'd not be so rational and calm anymore.  This happens to many people with strong emotions, such as anger and anxiety, but those of us on the spectrum can often find ourselves in the middle of a minor, or even major upset and not even always know what triggered it, much less what it's all about.  This is due in part to a condition known as alexithymia.

Of course, those of us on the spectrum do have feelings, very strong powerful feelings, just as anyone else. (Sometimes, I think possibly stronger, but how can one manage to measure emotional intensity? )  This leads to my next point: how we deal with them.  The part of the brain that deals in emotions is called the limbic system.  It can be furthered explained here in this article.  (I know that artcile was primarily about  love, but it highlights the very aspects of the automatic fight or flight patterns of the brain that I wanted to discuss here in this post.)

So, how does one get that space between pure emotionally driven behavior and higher levels of cognition?  After all this is the difference between making good choices and impulsive, regrettable choices.  This cushion of fragments in time where your cognition steps in noticing the first signs of upset in the body before the limbic system is flooded with neurochemicals is important in changing behavior.

There are lots of medications out there designed to help acheive that change.  Sometimes,they work, sometimes they don't , and others cause so many side effects that it's not an improvement on life.  I tried many, many meds and have never found one to work long term. That's why I have turned to relaxation techniques, like meditation.  I'll share some of the sites that I have found some tips and how to's.   See if any seem to be a good fit for you or your child.

Wildmind Buddhist Meditation  This site offers extensive tutorials and articles for anyone interested in learning to meditate and be more relaxed.

Mindful  Lots of tips and articles.

Tiny Buddha-always something insirational here


Mindfulkids

Bringing Mindfulness To Schools

Dreams

I awoke this morning with a dream stuck in my head that I knew meant something important. No, I don't mean in a psychic prediction sort of way.  I don't believe in that sort of stuff. I mean in a subconscious, psychological, symbolic sort of way.  

Dreams have long been of fascination to me.  I believe they contain a lot of stuff that we have going on behind the scenes.  Our thoughts and emotions are woven intricately into stories of faraway places, as well as the mundane. They represent the ideas, hopes dreams, as well as our deepest fears, and forgotten memories.  I have studied dream symbols and dictionaries, and kept dream journals for many years.  Not to brag, but I am quite good at deciphering the meaning of mine and other people's dreams and helping others to find direction with what their subconscious is telling them. 

In last night's dream I was at a place where they teach people to canoe.  All the participants were couples, so I was waiting my turn for instruction with my husband.  What was odd about this place was that typically one goes out to a lake for to canoe, but this was at an ocean.  I felt confused and and intimidated by going the task ahead of me.  I started searching for new clothes to wear and was trying on different outfits. (This is a common theme in my dream) The instructor told me that it wouldn't matter what I wore, because being in the canoe was all I had to worry about.  So, then I protested that I can't do it, because I can't swim.  She told me that no one ever falls out of the canoe.  The most important thing about learning to canoe is doing it.  She said she guaranteed 100% that I would not drown.  I awoke when my husband and I got in and began paddling away into the rushing waves.

According to dream dictionaries a canoe means that one is headed for peace and serenity, as well as emotional balance.  It's a sign of independence and emotional balance. It's also about being able to go on with determination.  I feel like this is symbolic of the place that I have come to emotionally through trials and hard work with my husband.  My journey through a harrowing depression has been hard, but I do feel that I have found a place of peace to rest in with my new found use of mindfulness and meditation. 

The changing of the clothes is also a telling reoccurring symbol for me. Clothing represents our public self in dreams.  It is who we try to be for the rest of the world. They are our image.  In my old dreams about clothes, I am usually changing into clothes for an important event where there will be lots of people, but none will work. They are always too small, mismatched, under dressy, or over dressy.  One shoe is lost, or doesn't fit.  In this dream, my clothes fit, but I was not sure which to wear.  This suggests that my image or role is changing, and I'm, trying to adapt to keep up.  The answer the teacher (my wise mind) gave me was spot on.  It doesn't matter how you show up to meet the challenge, just as long as you show up.  All of my anxiety over how I look and weather I measure up to others doesn't matter.I can feel inadequate, but I don't have to give in and sabotage my efforts with my feelings. I think the lesson is finally sinking in.

The ocean in my dream has much the same meaning as the canoe.  It's a symbol of refreshment and unhindered courage.  I am feeling empowered and positive. The waters were a bit rough in my dream, but I felt prepared. 

All in all, I feel this was a positive dream about equilibrium that I have recently found this last year.  I feel that it is a positive sign that the practice of mindfulness and compassion has begun to change my perspective for the better.  My anxiety is no long in the driver's seat and with that I have new purpose.

Sense of Self:Part 3

This is a continuation of the Sense of Self posts that I have been written so far.  I'm not sure where to go with it, or what direction I'm heading.  This topic is so general and almost infinite it and of itself I feel that I could type forever and never get to a point... so I'm just gonna dive back in and start going where ever my mind takes me.

I have noticed a radical change in my 'self' as I have began meditating.  It has been something of a treasure that was always there, but I have fully captured the essence of it now. I knew that this place of mind where I could openly feel without trepidation existed, but it didn't always feel available to me.  I could catch glimpses of it out of the corner of eye and feel it at my fingertips... It seemed mostly out of reach, until recently.

But first, what is 'self'.  This seems to be such a big question that many have asked and answered.  When asked most NT (neurotypical) people will begin to describe their social roles, ie; 'I'm a mother, a teacher, a wife...'.  I'm not engaging in bigotry, or saying that they're wrong to do this.  I'm just pointing out what most say and do, so please hold off the PC squad on this one.  This answer never seemed to make sense to me.It didn't make much sense with the Asperger ladies that I have discussed this topic with, either.  I am a mother, and I like what I do for an occupation (if you can call it that) and I love being married to my husband, but is me? Is it what defines me? I have to say no.  No, it isn't because I existed before my husband, my children, my career. I was me before they were around and if they were all to disappear tomorrow, I'll still be me.  So, if 'me' isn't that, then, what is it?  That was the question that I set to find out.  That was part of the reason I ended up on the path to Buddhism and Mindfulness.  I needed an alternate explanation to the riddle 'what is self?'

First, before I could move onto defining myself in any way I had to learn self awareness.  This was a feat for this aspie. I had to know what I was feeling, and when.  I had to identify my emotions and my wants and needs.  I had to learn about me, then let go of me.  I learn to recognize the little twinges of desire and the small nags of irritation.  Where I carried my anger, where I felt my sadness, where I stored my breath in anxiety.  This was all parts of me.  Parts that I didn't know existed within me in such subtle forms.  This journey of self discovery was overwhelming, but exhilarating.


Once, I could label my emotions and what they meant to me I could now begin to learn to let them go.  My awareness now moved to time. Nothing is permanent.  This moment is no more important than any of yesterday or tomorrow.  What meaning I attach to it is one that is arbitrary.  One that is made up and only experienced by me. Don't believe me?  Think of a time where life was difficult. When you look back things don't seem so bad, do they?  You may even have thought that you'll never feel better, or different, but you did.You have. While there is no doubt that we can and do suffer as humans, it's the attachments that we tack onto these emotions that we struggle with.

I feel that my self, me is defined by what I do,what I say what I am in every moment.  It's never static.  It's the choices I make that make me in this moment.  My values and goals and how I choose to fit them into my life, is me.  Every moment of everyday, I get to choose who I want to me to be.  How I respond to stranger at the store, or my naughty child, or frustrated husband.  My actions at that given moment define me.  I'd like to think that I am a kind, generous, supportive, person, among other qualities.  Before, I react to another person, or speak/act at all, I try to pause and ask myself if the person that I want to be is supported and defined by what I'm about to do.  If I say no, that wouldn't be kind, generous, supportive, ect... then I have the option of behaving in a different way.  One in which the me that I want to be is who that I am.

Finding Time For Peace

In This Article By Thich Nhat Hanh he speaks of finding time in everyday life to create a Spiritual Practice.  I find it to be a really good reminder that peace is always available to us at each moment.

Too often we think that we have to make time to meditate, or be more calm, or be more Mindful.  We wait until we can squeeze it into our busy schedules, except we have such stressful, busy lives that there never seems to be a moment to spare.  Planning on 20-30 minutes of sitting doing nothing seems like a healthy thing to do. It seems like it would be wonderfully relaxing.  But, something else always seems to come up and snatch away those minutes we had planned to use for finding peace. Our best intentions aren't always met with actions.  Especially, for those of you that follow my page with special needs kids.  We know all too well that at the end of the day what got done was what got done, and the rest will have to wait until tomorrow.  For me, it was always a tomorrow that never came, or at least not very often.

So, what worked for me was taking several small moments in my day to really be alive in the moment.  I focused on my breath, on my toes touching the floor, the smell of the air.  I live several moments in my day as if there were no others to consider. I was amazed at the transformation that happened.  It seemed to open up a new way of thinking for me.  I seemed to have more time, more patience, more happiness, more joy, more love, more compassion, more of what I'd been trying to manufacture through all the busy-hustle bustle that I've been engaged in all my life.  The world seemed to move slower for me.  I never realized before how stiff I held myself, or how much I closed off the back of my throat constricting air, almost as if I were predicting panic at any moment.  This was my constant state before taking Mindful breaks.

One thing that I did in particular was I took out my cell phone and took a picture of nature, or something else that I found fascinating, besides another person.  I took close ups of blooming flowers or a tree glistening as the sun set behind it.  I take one at a time and use them as a wallpaper on my cell phone.  Right now there is a beautiful purple flower that I took while outside with the kids while they were playing.  Doing this helps to remind me to look for the beauty in things that are all around me at any given moment.I can instantly remember how peaceful I felt in the moment I took the picture when I see my cell phone.   There's always something spectacular to look at if one is using the right mind to see.