Today I'm thankful for:
* The food I cooked and ate.
*The kitchen I cooked it in.
*The family I cooked it for.
* The ability and skill to make nutritious and tasty meals for my family.
* The courage to finally make the holidays be about what my family needs and not worry about everyone else.
*The laughter that my family shared today.
*Beans, because today is his 8th Birthday. :)
*My husband and his unwavering love and support.
*CJ and all of her help around the house.
*Bubby, and his unique, authentic self.
As this Thanksgiving winds up and my 33rd birthday is right around the corner I feel that my life is opening to new and adventurous paths. This is a time where I think that maturity of life sets in and we start to see things in a different light. We begin to see life as more meanigful in less big ways. We slow down just enough to see the past and and future from the vantage point of the present. Love, marriage, children and the mortgage might have been had by now in our lives. Some of those things might have been lost, too by now. At this point in life most of us have experienced some loss.
My kids are smack dab in the middle of being grown. One foot out the door. It was only 3 years ago I remember buying my daughter an easy bake oven and polly pockets for Christmas. Now, she has a boyfriend, and goes to school dances. Soon, she'll be driving. This gives me an idea of just how fast time moves at this time in life. Time is precious and not to be wasted. Looking back, I wasted too much of it worrying about this or that. Trying to make others happy, or worrying over what others thought. Each moment I let go into my obsessive worrying, my obsessive needs to be perfect, my over focusing on me in a negative way, is one in which I can never get back. When I let anxiety take over and take me to the place in my thoughts where I dwell in negativity I lose time to be here in the present. I miss moments of my kids growing up, or an opportunity to just be in the company of my husband or to think of a friend, because I was too preoccupied with me own thoughts. There isn't much room or time left when we let negative emotions take up residence in our minds, using up the present moment.
So, today my family and I stayed home, as is our new tradition. We ate what we wanted, on our own schedule. My boys had pizza and no one batted an eye. It was the pace we liked and how we liked it. It was our holiday and we made it our own. No one to tell us otherwise, and it was the best Thanksgiving we've ever had. I just wonder what took me so long to shake the negative influences of others and do what works for us?
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” Dr. Seuss