I posted a pretty long post on my
FB page about how I process emotions after I yet again, took something too seriously that my husband had said, and made a bigger deal out of it, than it really was. This is something that always happens to me. When I say always, I mean at least a few times a week. It doesn't help that I have a hubby that I swear has ADHD, and everything is a joke to him. My autistic brain is literal, and I often feel like he's making fun of me, when he is just interpreting the world in the way his brain is wired. Anyway, this is what I wrote:
"Emotional
regulation issues, and autism/asperger's. I find that I get irritated,
and anxious by minor issues often, only to realize later while looking
back that the thing that seemed so upsetting, or anxiety provoking
really wasn't that big of a deal in the first place. I sometimes am
embarrassed about my overreaction to seemingly insignificant
occurrences, and the anxiety about how others might view me in light of
my meltdown, or the anxiety about it happening again will keep me from
trying new things, and socializing, if I let it.
As I have
gotten acquainted with ASD, and what it's all about I have become aware
of the reasons behind this phenomenon. One big one is weak central
coherence (inability to see the bigger picture) and the other two are
executive functioning issues, combined with difficulty in detecting, and
describing emotional states. It's hard for me to see the bigger picture
when I see something that goes wrong in my mind. I lose sight of how to
get it back on track, and struggle with understanding how to deal with
mounting emotions.
The last, but least of these triggers is,
the deep down fear that I am being judged harshly by others, and
won't/don't measure up. I think this reason is one that most, on or off
the spectrum can relate to, but for those of us that seem to get things
wrong so often, self-doubt is often a big obstacle to overcome when
trying to regulate our emotions. I can lash out defensively, as if I
deep wound has been ripped open, because in some ways, for me it may
feel like it has. Learning mindfulness, and lot, and lots of
opportunities to learn self-acceptance has helped a lot."
Then someone asked a million dollar question: How do/did you learn self-acceptance? Can you give some examples of that?
