Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Over-contemplating

I sit here alone, in a house where all I hear is the tick of my clock on the wall.  Most hours of the day I can't hear that tick. I forget that this level of quiet exists quite often, to tell the truth.  I love to bathe in this silence as I sip coffee in my robe, and go online. It has to be one of my favorite things in life.

Then, the mind traps set in.

I see people doing this, or saying that on Facebook, and elsewhere.  I think, "maybe, I ought to do this, or that?" Except, my brain doesn't leave it at that. Nope. My brain keeps moving forward into Shoulds, and coulds, and judgement-oriented fields of opinion where I am the judge, and the jury, as I sit here thinking with a narrow focus, and seriously jaded views.  This side-line thinking is dangerous territory. I know it has the power to dismantle my self-esteem, and take my mood to full nosedive.  I know this, yet I still find my thoughts creeping to questions like;

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Am I Disabled?- Having the disability conversation with my #autistic son

I have talked quite a bit about Bubby growing up into a socially conscious young man, lately.  He really has grown leaps, and bounds in just the last 6 months alone.  It's as if a switch as flipped in his mind, and social consciousness was turned on from pretty much what appeared to be the off position.  Black, and white really.

So as you can imagine, some of the questions he asks, and statements he makes sometimes leaves me looking for words.

Such an incident happened a few weeks ago.

We were at I-HOP.  We had just swished into our booth, and picked up our menus. This is always a settling in time for me.  It's the moment where I feel out the nearby tables to see how much Beans loud stims are gonna bother them. Here lately, Beans has been deafeningly loud with his verbal noises that flow from his mouth almost constantly.  As his voice deepens these noises appear to be louder, and louder. I try to give Beans some toys, and make him as comfortable as possible.

"Ahhhhhhrrrrrrr"  he yells.  "MMMMMbaaaaaaa"

Then, it happened. Bubby says "Shhhh Beans! There's people over there! They can hear you."

Me: Well, he's trying, but he gets overwhelmed in restaurants.

Bubby: Is it embarrassing?

Now, this is misleading.  My son isn't asking necessarily anything. He often times speaks in questions, and asks questions that he knows the answers to, or thinks he does.  This questions speaking type of scripting is much better than it was a few years ago, but it's definitely still there. He's not really asking if Beans is embarrassing.  He's pretty much saying he believes he is. I explain to him that I don't think so, and that noise is how Beans calms himself.  While at the same time trying to remind Beans that we need to use quiet mouth.  Seems like maybe I am not being truthful with Bubby, but I don't mind the noise.  I know it's necessary for Beans to do it, but I would like it to be taken down to a less ear shattering level, to where it isn't heard across the whole restaurant, and interfering with other's meals.

So, then we begin looking at menus, and talking.  I mention something about how schools now have to provide adaptive sports to disabled kids to my husband, and father in law.

That must have sparked a thought in Bubby's head.

Bubby: Mom, am I disbaled?

Sunday, March 10, 2013

My Family- A Story by Bubby

The other day Bubby wrote this paper about our family.  I thought he did an excellent job, so I'm sharing it here exactly as he wrote it.  Enjoy!

I have a great family. We all get along, except me, and CJ. but we still like each other.

I have a great Dad. He's a tree man.  And aslo he owns it.  He cuts wood and sometimes sells it.  And guess what?  He plays video games!

And I have a great Mom.  She likes to go on Face Book. She also cooks a lot. And for dinner we sit on the couch and watch TV.

CJ is not so bad of a sister. She is in archery. She has a boyfriend named S. .She likes South Park. Also she owns Cupid.

So, want to talk about me? Well I'm a Family Guy. Also I play Minecraft. I like South Park too. Also I like to play video games. And I play with Cupid. I have Asperger's. And I like to eat at restaurants.

My little brother Beans is good.  He has autism. And he watches us play video games. Also he likes to eat at restaurants too like me.

Well I hope you like learning about my family. They are very fun!

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Quiche- How I got My #Autistic Son To Eat Eggs

Today's frugal breakfast might possibly not be all that sensory friendly to a lot of kids with sensory issues, but it is the only way I have gotten my Bean to eat eggs, which is a big deal to me!  I love quiche.  I eat it almost everyday.  It's quick to put together, but takes a little while to bake.  I can put almost any odd and end leftover vegetable in there, and it tastes great. Got a tablespoon, or 3 of tomatoes, green chiles, green peppers, green beans, carrots, cabbage, squash, bacon, ham, sausage.(and so many more) leftover?  Save it for breakfast.  Sometimes, when I have just a small amount of any of those foods I put them into a sandwich bag, label, it and freeze it.  Works for quick soups, or quiche.

Friday, March 8, 2013

#Parenting- Inner #Aspie Style

*I'd just like to do a little preface here to explain that I know that many of the regular methods work for regular kids, but for those of you with ASD, or ADHD  kids that are their own person , you might want to consider what I'm saying if you've had a lot of issues with them being argumentative, or "non-compliant". I hear a lot of times where parents see poor, or even explosive behavior from their AS teen, and think that it came from no where.  Trust me, it didn't. It's the result of frustration accumulating under the surface.  We're very literal, and the language you use matters a lot to us.

Parenting.  It's a wide, and often opinionated topic that can turn even the most civilized of us a defensive state when our own methods are questioned.  We all have our ideas, and we take our ways seriously, and for good reason.  What could be more important, and more serious than bringing a human being into the world that we are responsible for? Contributing to society by being a parent is a big responsibility, and it's no wonder that many parents feel that the way their child turns out is a direct reflection on them, as parents, and as people. That's why the topic of parenting methods tends to become the most heated the quickest.

The other day I asked my my Inner  Aspie  page, this question:

When is it (or is it EVER) ethical for parents to do random checks on their teen's phone (that the parents pays for)? Is it ever okay to read their personal texts?

I was a little taken back by the responses that I received,