Sunday, September 27, 2015

Knock Knock...This is #Anxiety - it's an emergency! Let me in!

I often write about expanding my own horizons, and testing my boundaries. Recently, I have written about not caring so much what people think, or if I get feedback from others that seems to support my choices. Then, as luck would have it, or probably not really luck if I am honest with myself, but rather just the way my neurology operates, I am hit with a bout of acute anxiety.

The day before yesterday I got a haircut. It wasn't much different, and I felt okay, and comfortable about it. I was feeling overwhelmed in general that day, but nothing that would rise to my attention as noteworthy. I posted a picture of my new do on Facebook. Then, my husband came home, and seemed not to even notice, or give much thought to my new haircut even after I asked about it. This made me feel really anxious. I began to fret. I immediately felt like i should not have posted a picture of it, and I deleted it from my timeline. Anxious thoughts filled my brain from thinking that I was wrong to make a big deal out of something so small as a haircut to feeling like maybe it didn't look very good. "Just who do you think you are to feel like anyone wants to even be bothered with something so minute as seeing your haircut?" That was one of my main thoughts Which spiraled into feeling like a fake for feeling this way, but always promoting healthier thinking. How in the world can I talk about something with any kind of authority if I can't even do it? Oh, my.... I think I'm a fraud. I think I am ugly, and probably fat, and maybe a bad person, too.

Then, I paused. Literally. I hit pause on my brain, my thoughts stuttered to a halt as did my whole body.

"Hello depression." I said to myself. "I see you are sneaking in behind your buddy anxiety."

I recognized all the the bad thoughts that lie to me until I am living in a shadow of who I am as a symptom of depression. They convince me that I am not worthy, and when they sneak in behind thoughts of fear I am so vulnerable that I believe them.

Not this time.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Local Parents Share Their Success in Using Shame as an Effective Parenting Tool #Satire

******Please be aware that this post is satire. It's not meant to be taken seriously. Any comment left that fails to understand that will be deleted.*********

When area parents Chris, and Lisa discovered their teenaged daughter Mariah had been using social media to meet boys, and post racy pictures of herself they knew they had to take action. "We considered having her wear a sign that would declare her mistakes to really damage her budding sense of sexuality, but that seemed like a lot of work," Noted the frustrated father. "I mean you have to go get a board, and write on it, as well as make sure she stays on the corner all day in full view of traffic to properly shame her. Who has that kind of time?" Added his wife.

They eventually settled on making a video about how awful they find their daughter's character, and posting it not only on their social media, but on their daughter's as well. This option provided the most efficiency, as well as exposure for their friends to pat them on the back for their clearly superior parenting skills. When asked what kind of message they hope this sends to their daughter the father replied "I hope it really helps her understand that going against authority can be humiliating if she is caught." "We need her to understand that her body is shameful, and shouldn't be shown to others except when it should, but this isn't the time," Added Lisa.

The parents have received a whole heap of praise from many around the nation who agree that talking to teens, and preparing them with facts, and safety measures, such as birth control isn't enough in today's world. "Well, we can't give them whippins anymore, so what else are we parents to day nowadays!" Exclaimed one mother from Alabama in response to the video. Others asked why the parents didn't want to explore other alternative techniques, such as monitoring their daughter's accounts, and being more open to communicating about the boys she likes to chat with, but those were not options that Chris, and Lisa were even aware of at the time.  "I really feel like she learned a lesson about social media, and privacy. We don't know who we are talking to, or where out photos may end up on the internet, so she has to be careful about her reputation." Said the mother as she takes a break from answering all the messages she has received on Facebook since the video was posted.

In other news
Teen Suicide is at an all time high- Is there anything we can do?
Is Your Child a Bully?- "I don't know where all his anger is coming from," admits one parent.
Providing a Moral Compass for Your Teen- Who has time for that anymore?
"Help! My Daughter Has Sexual Feelings!"  One mother's fight to squash her daughter's self-esteem, and sense of a healthy relationship with the opposite sex. How she did it.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Blossoming in the Shadows #socialanxiety #healing

"To hide your true self from the world, because you fear judgment is a waste of your essence. It's a life half lived, and a spirit dimmed."

That has been my mantra that I have made up for myself.  I have needed it lately as I face a new challenge. If you read my blog very often you might know that I set up challenges for myself all the time.I reevaluate  where I am, and where I want to be constantly, and then decide what I can do to reach those new goals. To be stagnant is to stop growing as a person, and that's not something that I can tolerate in my life. I have to keep my mind sharp, and my ideas fresh. I'm always pushing the boundaries of ideas, and goals, but in a quiet, contemplative sort of way.

My newest challenge to myself is to build confidence. This entails many steps. It means I have to like myself. It means I have to invest more stock into what I think than what others think. It means I have to take risks that others might not like me, or respond favorably to me.

This has not been easy.

The way that I have always handled myself was to play it safe, except