Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Why Don't You-Yes But

Grab your suitcases, and put on your time travel hats, because we're heading back into the 60's here to visit Eric Berne the author of  'Games People Play' and the creator of Transactional Analysis, which is still  relevant in current psychology practices today.  I have not read 'Games People Play', yet, but it is so on my list of things I'm gonna read.  I think that anyone on the spectrum that wants to understand why people do what they do ought to research Mr. Berne's theories.  They can offer a wide picture into the minds of people, and guide one through the thought processes of pretty much all human behavior.  Once understood, it can be a little easier to navigate the social world. Some of the material is dated, but I find all of it fascinating, nonetheless.

The game that I would like to talk about today is called 'Why don't you-yes but' game.  The reason I am outlining this particular game here, rather than to talk about TA as a general idea for the entirety of this post is because I am wanting to talk about this phenomenon (or game), specifically.  It is one that I am done playing. I am forfeiting, and moving on to save myself the frustration of the whole thing.

The basic way the game goes is this: taken from here

'Why don't you – yes but'

This game begins when a person states a problem in their life, and another responds by offering constructive suggestions on how to solve it. The subject says 'yes, but...' and proceeds to find issue with the solutions. In adult mode she would examine and probably take on board a solution (an Adult stance), but this is not the purpose of the exchange. Its purpose is to allow the subject to gain sympathy from others in her inadequacy to meet the situation (Child mode). The problem-solvers, in turn, get the opportunity to play wise Parent. 

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Sensory Friendly Cooking On a Budget

I am wanting to start a new segment of my blog about living, and eating thrifty (mostly eating) when dealing with sensory issues.  It's been something that I have found very difficult to do in my household where every member of my family has a variety of sensory issues pertaining to food.  I think that by posting recipes, and methods it might be helpful to other parents out there who are trying eat on a budget that can't fit in convenience foods like chicken nuggets, and frozen pizza for every meal.  Also, some of these ideas weren't always that obvious to me, even before having kids when just cooking for myself, and my (ultra picky!) husband. It might be helpful for the independent autistic who was never taught how to budget in nutritious food that they like.  I also think that by explaining some of the reasoning behind why certain foods are not sensory friendly to some people parents might gain a better understanding of why their kids won't eat certain things, and what items might work in place of them, but won't break the bank.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Trying Again- Taking My Life Back From Anxiety


I have rewritten the first part of this post several times now.  I can't seem to even decide for myself what I want to say.  I gather my thoughts toward a central theme, but my efforts seem scattered, just like my brain.

So, let's just get to the point that I am looking to make with this post, or at least the thoughts I am trying to convey.
In my last post , I spoke of struggles that I don't discuss much on here, or on my FB page.  I do discuss parts, at times pulling up the dusty curtain that I hide my junk behind just enough to reveal a small sliver of what I am hiding back here.  That glimpse is all that I typically show, before snatching the curtain shut.  I don't know what I fear would happen if I opened it all the way showcasing my flaws, and sad parts for the world to see. I suppose I fear judgment.  I fear that maybe people will decide that my 'crazy' is too much for them, and they'd stop following me, stop listening to me, and stop interacting with me.  The very thing my OCD drives to avoid might happen, and my fears would be realized as I stood there baring all.  That's the last thing I want, so I go to wild extremes to avoid this judgment.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

When Page Owners Have a Bad Day

Do you ever have those days where you're overflowing from too much pressure about one, or maybe even lots of different problems?  I think that everyone does.  I think some more than others.  I am having such a day, myself.  Not really emotional as much, as ummm... maybe.... intolerant?  I still don't think that fits what I am trying to convey.  I am having trouble finding, sorting, and communicating the words I'm meaning here.

I am pretty open about everything it seems in my life via this blog, and FB.  It would seem that my life is an open book with not a lot going on that I haven't spoken about, but like most people I have a private life that I keep .... well, private.  I don't always share my every issue, or even my every desperate struggle.  I might seem to many to be strong, and holding together, and 95% of the time, in 95% of my life I am.  Then, there's that 5% that I compartmentalize.  That is my OCD driven problems, and my private life kind of struggles (that let's face it most of us have at some point) part. This is the 5% that I hide, because it's my vulnerable area, and it's really not everyone's business. If you're a trusted friend, you already know what these are

Friday, February 1, 2013

Diagnosis is 90% of the Cure- Guest Post By Always Aspiegirl

Today's post is a guest post by Ericka over at Always Aspiegirl. The original post can be found here.


                                                   Diagnosis is 90% of the Cure
Before I even start this post I want to be clear: I am among a large group of Autism Spectrum people who DO NOT BELIEVE Autism needs to be cured. Just want to make that clear (based on the title, it could appear otherwise).

When I say "cure", I simply mean "manageable" or "less stressful".