Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Dancing With Danger-Understanding How I Process Dangerous Situations

One common trait that is often present with autism is the lack of fear of danger, or a lack of awareness to apparent danger. With children, and even some adults this might look like a person jumping into deep water even though they can't swim, or jumping off of a high place without regards to bodily harm. Some individuals might step out into busy roads without looking for oncoming traffic. I think those are all obvious actions that stand out in a big way.

But, some may ask; Is there less obvious situations where an autistic person might find themselves in an unsafe situation, and not know it? The answer is unfortunately, yes. The older we get the more sophisticated the situations become. Some of us might find ourselves elbow deep in social situations that seem straightforward to others, but elude us.

For example

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Chronic Pain and Autism

I know that I have mentioned it a time or two (or more lol) that I have a few different chronic illnesses that cause me pain of varying degrees almost daily. It's something that I have been dealing with for awhile now. How long, I can't tell you. I can't tell you because I don't really know. See the thing is with the way my brain sorts out pain signals, and how my body responds to them I am finding out isn't quite "normal". Yeah, I know that no one is "normal". What I mean by that is that my sensory perception is different that a typical person's due to being autistic.Throw into this mix the fact that I didn't always have a very responsive family that took me very seriously, or made my well being a priority on any kind of consistent basis, and we have a person that is all over the place in terms of how I experience, report, and explain physical pain to anyone.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Healing From Family Estrangement- Finding a place for my pain

I have always thought that with enough time and healthy coping skills a person would be able to somehow "get over" or feel free from an abusive childhood. I don't think the term "get over" is quite right here. Maybe find a good space for one's past to fit into, and move on from there in a healthy manner is a better description than "get over".  I thought that negative feelings surrounding the subject of my childhood, and my estranged family would eventually cease to affect me if I just worked hard enough at being a healthy person.

I am beginning to think that my previously held beliefs are wrong.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Thoughts for 2017

In one of my recent posts I posed a few questions to get me (and hopefully all of you) thinking about the things I'd like to bring into this year, and where my mindset is in relation to my goals. I wanted to have this post done before January 1st, which is funny to me, since it's now January 22nd. Sooooo, as you can tell, my new year is busy. It's okay, though. It happens.

Let's dive in with the questions.

What has gone right/well this year? How do you plan to keep facilitating this into next year?


For me I would say that my relationship with my husband has improved, and he has been helping out around the house, and with the kids so much more. I would facilitate this by encouraging him, and making sure he knows I appreciate him, which are not my strengths, so that will take some work on my part to remember.


What has not gone as well as you'd hoped, and how do you plan to cope/change with it this next year?

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Remembering Princess Leia

When I was a very little girl one of my very first special interests was Star Wars. While I no longer have any interest at all in the movies, today's news of the passing of Carrie Fisher has awakened a depth of sadness within me that reaches well into my childhood.

She was in particular what held my interest about Star Wars. As a 4 year old (and older) little girl her character as Princess Leia resonated within me. I was never into Disney type princesses. I still have a disdain for almost all Disney films to this day. This was a princess that was strong, capable, and opinionated, but attractive, and mysterious. She broke stereotypes with that character, and changed a lot of ways that young girls thought about themselves, and their roles within society, whether she realized it, or not.

Myself, and my cousins would play Star Wars all the time. I was always Princess Leia. It was a shame that 30 years ago the toys were all marketed as for boys only, and I'd never get any of my own. I only got to play with them when I visited my male cousins, or my uncle who was a few years older than me.

I remember one time in particular when I was at my grandmother's house. I didn't want to leave, so I wasn't putting my shoes on as my mother asked me to do. She was getting frustrated with me. My uncle told me that my shoes looked just like Princess Leia's shoes. I was in shock. Why didn't I know before?!? I ran as fast as I could to find them downstairs. I ran so fast that that I missed the last few stairs, but no

Sunday, December 25, 2016

My Questions for a Self-Aware 2017

It's Christmas evening here as I write this. I've done all the exhausting holiday runaround. Presents were wrapped, and unwrapped. Food was made, and eaten. Joy was anticipated, and gratitude was shared with family, and friends. I feel like I have a lot to be thankful for, and a lot of happiness was shared today. It was a day full of effort, though, and I'm one tired woman! I am sitting here on the downside of the excitement of Christmas, and pausing with anxious breath for the new year.

This year has brought with it a lot of challenges in the health department for me. I wonder how it might be for the new year? It is something of a game changer in that I have had to learn to become flexible with myself.  I've had to learn to allow myself room to adapt to new strategies, because I can't always do the same things to the same levels of perfection, or completion anymore. These are things that I am still learning how to do. When I have a painful bladder flare, or a migraine attack I might not be able to function at the same level as I always have, and learning how to navigate this new terrain of chronic illness has been difficult for my whole family.

For example, due to a particularly bad month of migraines, I was not able to do my usual Christmas cards, and treats that I normally do. This was hard for me to let go of, because it's such a big part of how I celebrate the holiday season. It was just more than I had to give this year, but hopefully next year I will be able to pick this tradition back up, or maybe I will be able to make some late treats for the New Year.

With all that being said.....

I did want to do a Christmas post, even if it was not a very long one. Something to let you all know that I am still here, and am still blogging, and will continue into 2017. As a matter of fact, I wanted this to be a pre-2017 post. A contemplative post of sorts. I'm going to ask a few questions here on this post. Then I am going to think about them, and post my answer in a new entry on or before the 1st of January. I think this kind of self-discovery is important, and required for meaningful growth. Plus, it's just fun. :) I hope you will join me! If you do let me know either by commenting below, or emailing me, or via Twitter, or some other way! I'd love to read what you have to say!

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Mesothelioma Awareness @Treatmeso #cancer

Guest post by Treat Mesothelioma



What is Mesothelioma?
Mesothelioma is directly linked to being exposed to asbestos.  Asbestos is a natural mineral that can be used to make fire resistant products.   When these products grow old with age or if they are disturbed in any way, the asbestos breaks off into very small fibers and/or dust.  These fibers then go airborne and can hang around for hours.  This is when people are most at risk to accidentally inhaling or ingesting these fibers.  The scary part is, if you do actually take in these fibers, you will never know it happened because they are so small.  That is why asbestos has been deemed, “The Silent Killer.”  It is now clear on how mesothelioma is caused, but what is mesothelioma?

Thursday, November 3, 2016

CozyPhones- Product Review

It's not a new thing that we're often connected to an electronic device for a good part of the day. Whether it's for work, health, or play we spend spend quite a bit of our day with headphones, or earbuds in our ears. It's just a way of life.

Recently, I had the opportunity to try a new product that could change the way you, and your family connects to your devices. CozyPhones CozyPhones is a soft headband that fits snugly around your head while you enjoy the same sounds you would with earbuds, or headphones. There are many different styles, and materials to choose from, so you will always be able to find one to fit your particular need. I think this is most highlighted with people who have sensory difficulties with earbuds, or headphones. CozyPhones don't go inside the ear, nor squish in any kind of way. They would be tolerable, and even welcomed by those who crave deep pressure sensory wise.

I did try them myself, and found them to be very comfortable. I do like deep pressure around my head, so I found them to be a little calming even. I didn't feel the volume quite went up as much as I would have liked, though.

My husband used them while he worked. He works outdoors with heavy equipment, and a lot of activity. He found the volume to be acceptable, and the headband comfortable.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Feeling Fall

Every Fall I eagerly await the first colors of the leaves to pop out from the trees. I check daily from the first of August for any sign of color changes, even just a little. This year I found that the colors began to turn quite early. I began to see leaves turning olive green, and darkened yellow hues in September! In the region I am from that is really early. We are often still having triple digit temperatures off, and on through out the month of September, so to see the change of colors starting to peek out so soon was a surprise to me. Since then it has been slow progress, however. The changes have come in short bursts.

One thing I know for sure is that every Fall season produces different results when it comes to the trees, and losing leaves.

Last year's colors were rather disappointing. The trees went from an olive green, to a muted yellow, to barren. There was not much in between. The weather snapped rather quickly from hot to cold, and the leaves just went from mid-fall colors, to dead. I missed the golds, and bright oranges as they fell gently from the sky over a couple week's time. The environment dictated what needed to happen for the trees to stay safe, and strong. The trees adapted, and did what they needed to.

They were the same trees that lit up the sky in years past with brilliant displays of reds, and golds, and oranges. I'd take pictures of them. Some years they'd explode with color, and some years not so much. I'm not sure which one this year is going to be. Of course, I am hoping for a colorful year, but I understand the times where energy conservation is also needed.

I was thinking that sometimes we are like those trees. Sometimes we explode with color, and excitement, but other times, we need to pull in, and care for ourselves. It's the same tree, and the same place, same season. Nothing changed, but maybe the environment. The tree does what it has to to be healthy. Maybe other people might have judgments about that. The tree might not be as beautiful to the eyes of others while it transforms into energy conservation mode. That's not why the tree changes. It changes to prepare for winter, and others just get the benefit of witnessing the process of this change. Sometimes the change is spectacular, and other times it's a quieter event that seems to takes place in a flash.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Intellectual Disability and Autism

This is a post that I have physically began to compose, but have deleted a couple times over the years. In my head I've written it over, and over thousands of times, each time composing it with a little more understanding, but not enough courage, or possibly enough knowledge yet to feel competent to write about it, maybe? I'm not sure. I am sure to get some of it wrong, but what I am sure about is the time I've spent thinking, and knowing my [autistic] brain, and understanding both of my sons, as well as being around others in the autism community has led me to where I am. I think I will get more right then I will get wrong.

So, what is this tumultuous topic that I tread so delicately to address?

Intellectual disability, and Autism; or rather where they intersect.

It's a very taboo topic to even broach within the autism community. If one were to even hint that their child might have an intellectual disability, plus autism to another parent whether this be in person, or online this is almost akin to saying, "I would like to start a fight with you." Never mind that this other person may never even have met the first person's child. All they heard was the words autistic (or autism), and intellectually disabled used in a sentence together, and that's enough to begin a verbal onslaught of angry facts, as if the other person insulted every autistic person under the sun by what they just said.

That in, and of itself is ableist. Let me explain why.