I'm not sure how to frame this post, or what to call it. I don't know how loneliness feels to others on the spectrum, or to anyone else, for that matter. It's a very private feeling that is hard to describe. That's why I can only speak for myself. I don't know that my loneliness is a side effect of Asperger's. I think it is, but I don't know for sure how others experience it, if they do at all.
When I was a teen I remember having this conversation with a 'friend' where she said "You can be in a room full of people, and still be lonely". I replied that I didn't think that made sense. How can one be alone, and with others at the same time. She maintained that there was a big difference between alone and lonely.
Showing posts with label body language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body language. Show all posts
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Spot the Autism
This video here poses a question about being able to 'spot the autism' . I did right away, but I will post it and continue with my writing below so you can take a moment to watch it, so as I don't give away my point.
Were you able to see it? I found this on a FB page about autism. The page owner said she had experience with autism for over 25 years and couldn't spot the autistic child in the video until it was pointed out to her. I interjected that I could right away and attempted to explain why in one or two sentences. The entire thread continued on about services being so wonderful and inclusion and latidah.... everyone putting in their two cents about how they could never ever tell... completely ignoring the fact that I said anything. Apparently, they don't acknowledge any autism unless it fits their definition of what they think autism is and me and my words weren't it, as well as this little girl's actions. The girl in the video could have been me as a child easily. She is not behaving non-autisticly. She is copying NT behavior. That is how I can tell she was on the spectrum, immediately. She is me as a child, and even now as adult. Watch carefully, and you'll see that she is always one second behind everyone else. She pauses and looks around to see what she is supposed to be doing in that moment, then does it. She is becoming a master chameleon. When in doubt, just follow along, as been my motto for my whole life. I can fit into any situation that I need to by smiling and mirroring. It isn't natural. It never will be. That's why socializing with others is so tiring and difficult. It's like doing a huge math problem in my head.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think that that inclusion is a bad thing, or that ASD kids can't be taught social skills. I think inclusion is great and we can most definitely learn social skills, but it's not ever going to be second nature to us. All I am saying is please don't ever think that if ASD kids are force fitted into social situations we will by osmosis become more typical, because that's not what necessarily happens. We may learn to fake it more, but it will always be an act. As for the original intent of the video, I really don't see where schools try to exclude kids with autism. I've always had the opposite problem, which is getting schools to address my son's (Bubby, because he is more like the girl in this video) autism. That's another post for another day, though!
Were you able to see it? I found this on a FB page about autism. The page owner said she had experience with autism for over 25 years and couldn't spot the autistic child in the video until it was pointed out to her. I interjected that I could right away and attempted to explain why in one or two sentences. The entire thread continued on about services being so wonderful and inclusion and latidah.... everyone putting in their two cents about how they could never ever tell... completely ignoring the fact that I said anything. Apparently, they don't acknowledge any autism unless it fits their definition of what they think autism is and me and my words weren't it, as well as this little girl's actions. The girl in the video could have been me as a child easily. She is not behaving non-autisticly. She is copying NT behavior. That is how I can tell she was on the spectrum, immediately. She is me as a child, and even now as adult. Watch carefully, and you'll see that she is always one second behind everyone else. She pauses and looks around to see what she is supposed to be doing in that moment, then does it. She is becoming a master chameleon. When in doubt, just follow along, as been my motto for my whole life. I can fit into any situation that I need to by smiling and mirroring. It isn't natural. It never will be. That's why socializing with others is so tiring and difficult. It's like doing a huge math problem in my head.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think that that inclusion is a bad thing, or that ASD kids can't be taught social skills. I think inclusion is great and we can most definitely learn social skills, but it's not ever going to be second nature to us. All I am saying is please don't ever think that if ASD kids are force fitted into social situations we will by osmosis become more typical, because that's not what necessarily happens. We may learn to fake it more, but it will always be an act. As for the original intent of the video, I really don't see where schools try to exclude kids with autism. I've always had the opposite problem, which is getting schools to address my son's (Bubby, because he is more like the girl in this video) autism. That's another post for another day, though!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Playing the Asperger's Card
As a person with AS I know that the level of severity is different in different areas for different people who are diagnosed with Asperger's. However, I have noticed a trend here lately with AS males specifically who do things that are illegal, and wrong, then attempt to play the autism card. No. Not okay. This Guy for instance. He is on his way to being a serial rapist and he cries Asperger's. I'm sorry, but since when did AS damage one's ability to know that it's not okay to run down the street sexually assaulting women?
There's been other stories I've heard of lately that I'd probably incite a voracious argument on my blog if I were to name them, due to my less than popular opinion on them. I will say in general, if one has at least an average IQ and has Asperger's then you have the ability to know right from wrong and to control your impulses toward your obsessions. Having a special interest in something doesn't make one excused for the laws that the rest of society has to follow. I also find it damaging to use that as a defense, because it does nothing for inclusion and understanding of Asperger Syndrome. It paints us as a group of unstable, impulsive people who might at any minute do something immoral, or illegal if it is a part of our obsession. This is simply not true of all of us. These stereotypes are harmful.
There's been other stories I've heard of lately that I'd probably incite a voracious argument on my blog if I were to name them, due to my less than popular opinion on them. I will say in general, if one has at least an average IQ and has Asperger's then you have the ability to know right from wrong and to control your impulses toward your obsessions. Having a special interest in something doesn't make one excused for the laws that the rest of society has to follow. I also find it damaging to use that as a defense, because it does nothing for inclusion and understanding of Asperger Syndrome. It paints us as a group of unstable, impulsive people who might at any minute do something immoral, or illegal if it is a part of our obsession. This is simply not true of all of us. These stereotypes are harmful.
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