Last night I had this dream about being at an IEP meeting for Bubby. I went to the school to drop something off and I ran into some of next year's staff for Bubby. School was just about to start in the dream. I started trying to chat with them about Bubby and they said "I hope you don't expect the same things as he got last year. This is 5th grade. It's not going to be a cart le blanche of services for him." I didn't know how to respond. I at first, thought that maybe it was just that person. But, I kept running into staff that would say the same things. I finally got upset and yelled "He has an IEP! You can't just pick and choose what services he gets! It's a legally binding document!" To which they replied that they have called a new meeting to re-assess the IEP. I went to the meeting and they said that he no longer qualifies for services. I tried arguing and I got so upset. I couldn't figure out how they could do such a thing! So, I pulled my last punch. I said "Fine! Then I guess I will have to home school him if you will not provide the proper care and services for him!" Then they started high fiving each other! I couldn't believe it! It was such a realistic feeling dream. I left the school feeling overwhelmed as I have no idea how to home school.
I'm guessing all this is symbolizing my jitters for the upcoming school year. I was not even aware I was that nervous about it, but I must be. I think it has to do with the older he gets, the less the teachers tend to go out of their way to aid him. I have no idea who his teacher is going to be next year. Usually, they have that per-determined for him, but not this year. He is getting older and the structure of school changes with each year. I think that I get worried he is getting left behind. I also worry that I will have to home school and that is something I really don't know anything about or want to do. I don't like driving into town (read that as, I have anxiety issues about driving into town so I don't) and I worry that being at home with just me all day will be a not good place for him to be socially.
But, the good news is, it was just a dream! Hopefully, next year will be just fine!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
21 comments:
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What a nightmare. Good luck this upcoming school year. Hopefully he will still get the services he needs to achieve academically and socially. Wishing you the best of luck. Hang in there. Sending hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteOh, boy! That was a nightmare. Hopefully, all goes well and it turns into a great school year!
ReplyDeleteI hope so, too! Thanks!
DeleteI think each new school year brings jitters for all of us. We run our own school (my son was the first pupil) and whilst that is very demanding, at least it means that if something is going wrong, we're in control of looking at what's happened and working together to put it right.
ReplyDeleteDoes Bubby have a 1-1 aide? I know some kids who seem to do very well because the aide works really closely with the parent - plus the aide is concentrating solely on the child in a way that a class teacher cant do because they have the needs of all the other kids to think about.
Glad you dream was just a dream :)
That's a wonderful thing, starting a school like you guys did! Wow.
DeleteNo, he doesn't have a one on one. He has 'access to a para at all times', which is the classroom para that helps all the special ed kids in his classroom. I'm not sure what the best solution is for him, because if he has too much help he won't work independently, because he will honestly not believe he can. He becomes overly dependent on help easily.
I'm glad it was just a dream, too. I am looking forward to meeting his teachers for next year. Hoping, they'll be what he needs!
I'll pray you have a good start,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly the feeling...
ox
Thank you Hannah! :)
DeleteHi, all,
ReplyDeleteHome schooling is not just you alone. There are teachers and everything (illustrations, lessons, one on one help if needed, etc). Some even have group classrom trips around town to handle the social activities. One mother I met who homeschooled also had her kids in scouts and 4H. Plenty of socialization.
Yeah, I'm sure there is some ways to get your kid out with other kids. I'm not sure if everywhere has that much of a homeschool network, but some places do.
DeleteYou describe it as a nightmare, but could an alternate interpretation be that Bubby is really growing up to be an independant person who maybe needs less services?? I don't know, because I don't know your son. Maybe I'm dead wrong... I hope everything will be fine next year!
ReplyDeleteYou could be right. I think part of it that I need to let him grow up, even if that means he will struggle. He needs to do it on his own. That's hard, because I want him to not have to struggle.
DeleteI feel that is the hardest part of being a parent: knowing when to let go and trust our children. But also to trust that you did a good job learning them how to be independant. And everybody has to face their own struggles, but when you do you come out feeling stronger!!
DeleteLol I just read all my own fears! Here's hoping for a good school year!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I hope the same for you, too! :)
DeleteWell we are back in school and let the night mare begin. We have lost most support years ago and yes this is grade 5 for us too. It's been an up hill battle to get my child noticed. I've done most of his therapy my self. There are days I think done this much why not home school. But then I think no! I was educated in school he will be too. I'm too tired to keep fighting for my child to get the help he deserves and needs. Yep I said deserves cause I believe that any child deserves a education and if you have needs then those needs should be met My child has needs but he's not always getting them met. Squeaky wheel gets the grease. He doesn't squeak loud enough. Lord please let my IEP night mare end
DeleteI'm sorry that I haven't replied to your comment yet. I don't know how, but it got overlooked. It's my policy that I respond to every comment left, so I do apologize.
DeleteYou sound so frustrated. I wish I had some solid advice, but I'm not familiar enough with your situation to help. Sometimes, I find it super helpful to call our local disability advocacy center. You can see if you have one for state by googling. Ours is http://www.familiestogetherinc.org/ I hope things get better soon!
I think I have those at least one or twice a year, usually right before IEP time! You are in good company. :)
ReplyDelete:) I didn't think so.
DeleteWell your nightmare pretty much describes our school year last year. And yes, I am homeschooling this year. I would rather she be at a good school, with good supports in place and people who understand her issues ... BUT as it is, our district does not have proper training ( IMO) for most staff, and has no idea how to handle behavior issues that can arise with children on the spectrum. I fought hard all year and then finally decided that the time I was taking to fight , was hurting her more than helping her. This year we are doing an online school which is very well laid out, offers outside activities and assigns teachers to assist. It is a very big change for us and we are all still adjusting. Good luck with your upcoming IEP. Hopefully it will be another good year for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you found a solution that works for your daughter. I remember reading of your struggles on Twitter. I typically don't agree with homeschooling, but in cases like yours there isn't much choice. It's in the best interest of the child to take them out of that environment.
DeleteI think my next IEP is in October, so we will see how it goes. He seems to be doing remarkably well this year, better than any previous year, so I', happy about that!