Let me clarify for a moment what I mean by boredom. As defined by Merriam-Webster; the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.
This is different than the feelings I might get from say, melancholy, or restlessness that is borne of impatience (stuck waiting for something/someone for example), or discontent, which can be like restless. These moods are directly related to situations, or limited ability to do or be something else. To me, boredom is by definition, lack of interest in anything anywhere no matter what. I don't get that emotion. This was first brought to my attention while I was attending social skills therapy with my son as a follow up after diagnosis. We were working on facial expressions in a mirror. We were told to make a bored face. I couldn't. I had no background for that emotion. Bubby did, but I know from experience his 'bored' means something is too hard and he doesn't want to do it, so he announced that it's boring, or he's impatiently waiting for something. I don't think either of those really qualify as bored. The therapist insisted that I had to be bored sometimes. I said I didn't. Even when there was nothing to do physically there is always something I can think about that's interesting to keep me occupied. My mind is never dull or out of ideas. I have so many that it keeps me up at night. I have so many plans and thoughts that I am unable to do half of what I think about.
I saw this photo and I was instantly in love with it. It really resonates with my active mind and inquisitive spirit.
I love that picture. I thought a bit about boredom, and I think I am also never bored - when I am alone. Boredom for me strikes when I am with people who talk about things that I have absolutely no interest in - the problem is that I struggle to tune out voices. I can ignore most other sounds and keep myself busy in my head, but voices scramble my thoughts. Even voices on the radio. I cannot think or read when the radio is on and someone talks. I can do nothing but listen. And when I am not interested... Or is that frustration? Boredom? Frustration? I actually don't know. Will have to think about this some more. Thanks for an interesting topic!
ReplyDeleteI have some serious issues with concentrating while there's noise going on around me, too. I've been thinking of doing a post on that, too. It's something that really effects my everyday life.
DeleteThanks for reading!
I wonder if everyone on the autism spectrum has as active a mind as you do? As someone who is not on the autism spectrum, can you educate me: do you think it's because you are more finely tuned to different things around you?
ReplyDeleteI think it is due to being on the spectrum. I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and to just know stuff. It's as if I'm driven to think. It's really hard to explain. My mind never rests. I think I think too much. I will ask on my page and see what other autistics have to say tomorrow.
DeleteIn my book on a Dutch 'chronic' community ("Een wankele wereld", 2007) someone observes: "having to grope around each day, again and again to make sure the world is still as it was yesterday."
ReplyDeleteNo boredom there.
Bored people on the other hand experience too much stability and so underestimate the anxiety of the lack of it.
Being alive is an incredible miracle, but being conscious of that while not being Claude Monet or someone else who can express that feeling is pretty tiresome.
I can wear myself out with so much curiosity about the world and my inner drive to know more, and do more. It can be overwhelming at times! Thanks for your comment!
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