I've already talked about my aversion to group activities, and why I'm not popular, and never will be. This post kind of attaches itself to those by subject. I have a strange aversion to being the center of attention, and wanting to be. It's a strange contradiction. On one hand, I love getting likes on FB page, and feel nothing short of very sad when I lose likes, or 'people talking about this' goes down, yet I am not willing to be someone I am not to get more likes. I am not just a parent blogger.
I am not going to sit here, and dole out my parenting philosophy , how good, bad, and ugly my parenting is, ect... in every post. It's not my thing.Neither is going on about people not thinking my kid is rude, or spoiled, and how they're ignorant. I wish I could conjure up enough care to care what everyone in my neighborhood thinks of my parenting, but my ego just isn't big enough, or something. I just don't think about it. I'm certainly not gonna go crazy on anyone who looks at my kid wrong, or even share one of the many, many variations of photos about it on FB. It would certainly get me more likes, and followers, but it would be in vain. It would be pretending to be someone I am not, and I will never do that.
On the same token, I am not the outspoken autistic advocate screaming about how awesome autism is, and how I am discriminated against. I'm not.
I have also unfollowed any pages that have drama on them. I cannot stand other women who think they can build themselves up by tearing down other moms. If a page has too much of that kind of judgment going on, I'm outta there. It takes the same amount of energy to extend negativity, as it does a helping hand. Your character decides which is more valuable to you.
I used to think about what would make people read my blog more, or what would get me more likes. I would try to tailor my posts to that. I'm not doing that anymore. I am posting what I want, and if people like it they will continue to read, and if they don't they won't.
I have quit all FB groups that are needed for local events, and I am not really closely following any other pages besides a maybe 2 or 3 friends. I can't afford the energy to keep worrying. I can't afford the energy to lose this game again, because I know I will. I will not ever be popular, as I said earleir. I keep losing likes on my FB page, and I will not lie, it hurts my feelings every time. I'd rather lose friends on my personal page than to lose likes on my Inner Aspie page. The only remedy for this that I have found is to stop caring.
|I'm up for the challenge! These pages represent my journey.|
I have to be true to myself, and my values. I am who I am, and I can't change that. Maybe, I wish I was someone else sometimes, but logically that can't happen. I am stuck with myself, so I might as well make the best of it. I am no one's best friend. I am on my own. I may not be well liked, but it's who I am, and I would rather be disliked for who I am, than liked for who I'm not, so I'm gonna post whatever I want to. My last post is about dreams, and I knew it would not be well read. It's boring to most, and unrelatable. People like posts they can identify with, and my weird dreams are not something a wide audience is going to click with. I posted it anyway, because it MY interest, and I'm blogging for me now.