Most Parents Are Lazy

Did the title get your attention? Good. If you agree with it, then this blog is written with you in mind. Please, keep reading, before skipping to the comments section.

It happened again. I got sucked into another dreadful parenting debate. I always tell myself that I won't, and usually I don't, but sometimes I do. I just have to respond to people. I have to let them know just how narrow minded they are being, and in the end I doubt it matters to them one iota.

These people know just how every child should behave, and how every parent should respond when they don't.

These commentators know that every misdeed of the kid (no matter how old) is the parent's fault.

They know, because their child would never...

They know because back in their day......

How do I know these parent's POV so well? I have a confession to make here.

Losing Beans- Last night's bad dream

Last night I had one of those dreams that you wake up from sobbing. At first, I thought that the meaning was pretty straight forward, but after thinking on it, and looking up some of the main themes in my dream dictionary I quickly realized the meaning was much deeper than I originally thought.

In my dream, I was sitting around with some friends that I used to have when I was a teenager. We were back at my hometown, doing fun things that 14 year old girls do, except I was not 14.  I was the same age I am now. It was nostalgic, and I was having a really nice time. Then, it was evening and we were sitting by a pool. The next thing I know Beans has disappeared. I can't find him anywhere. Panic sets in, as I look for him.

Then, I am in a sort of haze, or something. It was like I was unconscious, and had woke up. I asked some people around me where Beans was, hoping it had been a dream, or he had been found, but they confirmed what was my worst fear... he was still lost. They said he had wandered into a nearby forest. I held back my tears, as I asked how long had this been the case. Two or three weeks was their reply, and with that I knew. I knew he was gone, likely forever, and I just kept saying "Oh man, oh man. no." as I sobbed, and sobbed. I think I made a few attempts at following up, but I knew it was pretty final. He was gone, and that was that.

I tried to move on, but life felt so empty. I tried to keep things

Organizing Toys for Kids With Visual Sensitivities

In my last post I talked about how much Bean's behavior has been changing, and how I am struggling to not only cope, but to find others that are going through the same thing.

Through chatting with a few others that reached out, I am back on my game now.  I am still going to take him to the doctor (which is a mess of situation worthy of another post in, and of itself) but I am going to try some new things in the meantime.  Some of those I detail in the comments section of the post, so I'm not gonna relay them here, too.  However, one thing that occurred to me was that maybe it was time to do another de-cluttering of Bean's toys. He tends to get really overwhelmed easily when he has too many choices. I try to keep his amount of available toys to choose from neat, organized and at a minimum to help him. For some reason, it hardly ever occurs to him to dig through toy boxes to find his favorite items. If he can't find something in his line of vision to play with he will just not try, which renders him bored, and irritable.  I am aware that the totality of the situation does not rest on the organization of his toys, but I do think it might help.

I thought to myself as I was preparing to do my usual cleaning routine that if my son does well with certain things in certain orders than maybe  others might benefit from it, too, so here is my tutorial on how to help arrange play areas for children with visual sensitivities:

First- Gather all toy boxes

Personal Consumption Challenge- Join me!

I came across the challenge I quote below in my inbox from VIA- Institute of Character. I'm not really familiar with the organization, but I did like this particular email. I thought their idea was a very, very good one.

So, I'm gonna do it! I think it's important to know what we are doing, and what we are being exposed to on a daily basis. I am not one for thinking about energy in spiritual way, whatsoever, but I do think our thoughts, words, feelings and action impact others. Our environment is important in how we feel.

I am going to go one step further in the process, and write down what I am feeling, thinking, and doing every hour as well. Not a whole journal entry, or anything. Just a few words should do. I am curious how my results will look.

So, here's the challenge:

Off the Cuff, and From the Heart

As I sit here on my couch, and contemplate my day it's about 10:30 pm. I hear Beans running around his room tapping his an empty water bottle, and exclaiming "Daaaa daaaay deeee!" My husband slumbers half off our sectional couch so exhausted that our 55 pound dog just ran over his head several times chasing the cat without waking him. My daughter, and her boyfriend sit in the other room talking, and the floor is littered with grapes, and cracker crumbs. I still will have to clean up the kitchen, and put away laundry before bed, but that's okay, because Beans is not likely to go to sleep before 11:30 anyway. This scenario is not atypical for my house at this time of day. As a matter of fact, it's pretty on schedule for what I expect.

Today wasn't anything great. It's wasn't anything awful. It was just another day. I got some stuff done, but not all of what I wanted, or even needed to. I think that I will never have my list of to-do's completed. I could very well be 98, on my death bed still clutching my to-do list. I can see it now