When "just not a math person" doesn't add up: Dyscalculia and what it means for kids

http://chicagoparent.com/magazines/chicago-parent/2011-august/back-to-school-special-section/discalculia-math-disability
Above is a link to a site that describes something called Dyscalculia.  It is basically like dyslexia, except for words and letters, its math and numbers.  I think I may have this.  I have always struggled with math, and I still do, though with lots of practice it is better.  Good enough to get through the day.  I think most of that was strenuous practice when I was a cashier.  There was one place I worked at where I was required to count change back to the dollar before they let me on the register.  Not only that, but I was trained with a group.  This was extra incentive to get it right.  So, I bought a bag of play money, went home and practiced it.  Even if my register broke I could, without error, count back your change to the dollar even to this day.

As a child, I really struggled through math tasks.  When I had to work, I had to rely on counting on my fingers, which was very frowned upon by my second grade teacher.It got to the point to where she recommended I be tested for special ed.  Even though this was 20 yrs ago, they did special ed testing quite a lot the same as today.  I was tested in all areas and when was all said and done I was found to be gifted, with the exception of math, of course.  The school forgot all about my math issues and focused on the where I can get my needs met in all the other areas.  Which was okay, because I was just as bored in class as they thought I to be after seeing where I was academically.  The school I attended was very small and didn't have a gifted program for grade school students, so the faculty tried to move me up a grade in effort to alleviate my boredom.  I as a young aspie child was vehemently opposed to such a drastic change.  So, I remained in the same grade, but without any aid in my math skills, which seemed more and more behind with each passing year.  By the time I got to algebra I was failing.  I had no concept of what to do and no amount of extra tutoring seemed to help.  I wish that I had gotten the extra help when I was young.  I get by, but still count on my fingers. ;)

Sanity Test-How Sane Are You?

I took the Sanity Score test at http://www.sanityscore.com/ .  My  score was 75 out of a possible 200 something.  The lower the score supposedly the more 'sane' one is! lol It declared me sane, but with two areas that need work, self-esteem was the highest followed by anxiety, even suggesting I have an anxiety disorder, which I have been diagnosed with.  The anxiety was indicated by obsessions and compulsions, which here again, is quite true.  It's fun and free, so go ahead and take it.  If you do, please come back and share your results and thoughts on the test.

Time and to-do lists Part Two:

In the last blog post I talked a little bit about how we schedule our days with more than can reasonably fit.  Some by choice, some by necessity.  As I mentioned, some of us don't have the time energy and money to be able to do what we would like.  Some people work 14 hour days not because they want to, but because some people have to.  Some of us with special needs kids don't have respite or family to help.  There is no 'outsourcing in childcare' as one article put it.  So, as I write about slowing down and being more in the moment I am also sympathetic to those in society that for a variety of reasons don't have the resources to pick and choose their schedules with ease.  I am one of those people and I am well aware of the conditions when money and time is finite.

I think what I have noticed in myself as I try to be more flexible in my routines (no easy feat for an stubborn aspie such as myself) is that I worry too much about what others think, or what may happen if I don't get X task done.  I also feel a constant need for perfection.  I feel I have failed if I don't live up to certain expectations that I have set for myself.  These expectations are always unattainable by any human. I am almost guaranteed to fail.  Self compassion and a dose of realistic thinking can go a long way in making my life more content just by giving myself a break.  Will I always remember to take my 7 yo (who is in the beginning stages of potty training) to the bathroom several times a day? Or remember to get use his special therapy cup to enhance learning to drink from a regular cup vs a sippy? Or, the slow, slow, slow process of exposure to the hair clippers daily? Or to stop and make him sign for simple things?  How about all the social stories and emotion cards that are never printed for Bubby?  Or the tutoring for CJ's dyslexia?  I do remember most of those thing most of the time, but not all of them all of the time.


I am finding that as I realize that my part of my own downfall is my attachment to perfection.  As I let go of what I think I *should* be or *should* do life is getting fuller and more enjoyable.  I have lived my life from a view of distance rather than being in the moment feeling fully in tune with what I am doing.  Just being  aware of how the choices that I make in my day to day life can make all the difference in leading what I would like to call a fulfilled life. I try to rank importance of tasks relative to time. What will make the most difference is 5 days, weeks, or months? How much does having my house dust free matter vs taking the kids to the pool daily?  What will matter more in the long run?  I have to be aware that it's unlikely for me to do both all the time.  Once I have gotten rid of that illusion the choices seem more clear.

Time and to-do lists Part One:

There was something I noticed while trolling the many news feeds and such that I frequently read... there were many that were telling me how to get the most out of my day. How to maximize my whole time potential, like in this article here  .  I think if this woman was off her schedule by 10 minutes her whole day would probably fall apart.  Every minute seems planned and accounted for.  It seems that there are some that have that kind of control over their resources to be able to strategically plan that way.  Living with autistic children don't always go to plan, so making myself a priority in every waking moment of my pre-planned day would not work.  No matter how many spreadsheets of data I take on how I spend my time and how many 10 minute intervals that I allot myself to think. (rolls eyes) Who schedules time in to think? And, how have we become this multi-tasking society that pencils in every waking moment of everyday with tasks and activities?

That's not to say that the article isn't without a few good ideas.  I do think it's worthwhile if you've not ever done it (especially if you're not a routine oriented person)  to get out a notebook, spreadsheet, whatever and document your day in 15 minute intervals.  How much time do you really spend on Facebook? How about in front of the TV?  Or any of the many other activities that fit in your day.  Knowing this information is important in deciding if you're living your days out to what matters most to you, or if you're just drifting by doing things that hold little meaning for you while wondering where your time goes.  Or feeling that nag of boredom.

I have slowly started to adopt the approach that less is more when I am looking at my schedule. Like in this article about slowing down  I am realizing that I am not more fulfilled when I do more.  Sure, there are days where I get a ton of errands or housework done, but there are also days where my energy wanes and that's okay, too.  Accomplishment feels good, but when is it that our lives became are about a monumental list of tasks to tick off?  When does that feeling of accomplishment feel like a dog chasing his tail?

To be continued in the Next Post

Authentic Happiness Tests

Authentic Happiness

The link above is a site that I have found interesting. It has several questionnaires designed to see how happy you are when compared to others in the same gender, occupation, ect... There's also a lot of positive psychology info that I have not had the chance to do more than browse through, yet.  So far, all the tests that I've taken seem to place me in the middle of the happiness scale, suggesting I'm not happy or unhappy.  Seems about right! lol I always seem more neutral than anything.  Seems to be my default mood!