Over-contemplating

I sit here alone, in a house where all I hear is the tick of my clock on the wall.  Most hours of the day I can't hear that tick. I forget that this level of quiet exists quite often, to tell the truth.  I love to bathe in this silence as I sip coffee in my robe, and go online. It has to be one of my favorite things in life.

Then, the mind traps set in.

I see people doing this, or saying that on Facebook, and elsewhere.  I think, "maybe, I ought to do this, or that?" Except, my brain doesn't leave it at that. Nope. My brain keeps moving forward into Shoulds, and coulds, and judgement-oriented fields of opinion where I am the judge, and the jury, as I sit here thinking with a narrow focus, and seriously jaded views.  This side-line thinking is dangerous territory. I know it has the power to dismantle my self-esteem, and take my mood to full nosedive.  I know this, yet I still find my thoughts creeping to questions like;

My Family- A Story by Bubby

The other day Bubby wrote this paper about our family.  I thought he did an excellent job, so I'm sharing it here exactly as he wrote it.  Enjoy!

I have a great family. We all get along, except me, and CJ. but we still like each other.

I have a great Dad. He's a tree man.  And aslo he owns it.  He cuts wood and sometimes sells it.  And guess what?  He plays video games!

And I have a great Mom.  She likes to go on Face Book. She also cooks a lot. And for dinner we sit on the couch and watch TV.

CJ is not so bad of a sister. She is in archery. She has a boyfriend named S. .She likes South Park. Also she owns Cupid.

So, want to talk about me? Well I'm a Family Guy. Also I play Minecraft. I like South Park too. Also I like to play video games. And I play with Cupid. I have Asperger's. And I like to eat at restaurants.

My little brother Beans is good.  He has autism. And he watches us play video games. Also he likes to eat at restaurants too like me.

Well I hope you like learning about my family. They are very fun!

Quiche- How I got My #Autistic Son To Eat Eggs

Today's frugal breakfast might possibly not be all that sensory friendly to a lot of kids with sensory issues, but it is the only way I have gotten my Bean to eat eggs, which is a big deal to me!  I love quiche.  I eat it almost everyday.  It's quick to put together, but takes a little while to bake.  I can put almost any odd and end leftover vegetable in there, and it tastes great. Got a tablespoon, or 3 of tomatoes, green chiles, green peppers, green beans, carrots, cabbage, squash, bacon, ham, sausage.(and so many more) leftover?  Save it for breakfast.  Sometimes, when I have just a small amount of any of those foods I put them into a sandwich bag, label, it and freeze it.  Works for quick soups, or quiche.

#Parenting- Inner #Aspie Style

*I'd just like to do a little preface here to explain that I know that many of the regular methods work for regular kids, but for those of you with ASD, or ADHD  kids that are their own person , you might want to consider what I'm saying if you've had a lot of issues with them being argumentative, or "non-compliant". I hear a lot of times where parents see poor, or even explosive behavior from their AS teen, and think that it came from no where.  Trust me, it didn't. It's the result of frustration accumulating under the surface.  We're very literal, and the language you use matters a lot to us.

Parenting.  It's a wide, and often opinionated topic that can turn even the most civilized of us a defensive state when our own methods are questioned.  We all have our ideas, and we take our ways seriously, and for good reason.  What could be more important, and more serious than bringing a human being into the world that we are responsible for? Contributing to society by being a parent is a big responsibility, and it's no wonder that many parents feel that the way their child turns out is a direct reflection on them, as parents, and as people. That's why the topic of parenting methods tends to become the most heated the quickest.

The other day I asked my my Inner  Aspie  page, this question:

When is it (or is it EVER) ethical for parents to do random checks on their teen's phone (that the parents pays for)? Is it ever okay to read their personal texts?

I was a little taken back by the responses that I received,

Why Don't You-Yes But

Grab your suitcases, and put on your time travel hats, because we're heading back into the 60's here to visit Eric Berne the author of  'Games People Play' and the creator of Transactional Analysis, which is still  relevant in current psychology practices today.  I have not read 'Games People Play', yet, but it is so on my list of things I'm gonna read.  I think that anyone on the spectrum that wants to understand why people do what they do ought to research Mr. Berne's theories.  They can offer a wide picture into the minds of people, and guide one through the thought processes of pretty much all human behavior.  Once understood, it can be a little easier to navigate the social world. Some of the material is dated, but I find all of it fascinating, nonetheless.

The game that I would like to talk about today is called 'Why don't you-yes but' game.  The reason I am outlining this particular game here, rather than to talk about TA as a general idea for the entirety of this post is because I am wanting to talk about this phenomenon (or game), specifically.  It is one that I am done playing. I am forfeiting, and moving on to save myself the frustration of the whole thing.

The basic way the game goes is this: taken from here

'Why don't you – yes but'

This game begins when a person states a problem in their life, and another responds by offering constructive suggestions on how to solve it. The subject says 'yes, but...' and proceeds to find issue with the solutions. In adult mode she would examine and probably take on board a solution (an Adult stance), but this is not the purpose of the exchange. Its purpose is to allow the subject to gain sympathy from others in her inadequacy to meet the situation (Child mode). The problem-solvers, in turn, get the opportunity to play wise Parent.