I see my special interests like trees. Some grow big, and strong, and some only make it to saplings, grown out of a seed of another tree. My interest in psychology, for instance is a mighty oak who has grown for about 20 years. It has spawned many other saplings in it's time, but none have outlasted the tenacity of the psychology interest.
Autism is another that is related, but not on the same tree. It's been around for almost 8 years now, and is strong, and been by far my most compelling interest, as it has a lot to do with my everyday life. Some of the branches on that tree include this blog, and my Inner Aspie FB page. They're definitely a part of my interest, but they're not the totality of it.
I have been feeling that way lately, as you can easily see by my recent blog entries. It's the rut, not moving, feeling overwhelmed feeling that I cannot put my finger on that usually ends up that I need to let go of an interest that is no longer enjoyable.
After another serious disappointment with the school this morning I realized that I am over the edge of what I can fit on my plate. I am cramming too much into a space that is already beyond capacity. My emotional reaction to everything is a tell-tale sign of this.
I have decided to let my Inner Aspie FB page go for the time being. I doubt it will be permanent. It may just be for a couple wks. It may be several months. I just don't know. Right now, I do not come away from being on it feeling refreshed, or happy the way special interests usually make me feel. I come away from being on there seriously irritated, and sad. Despite trying my best to always try to make it a friendly page I have been getting a lot of negativity back. People wanting to argue over my every wording, or just not responding at all. I've been losing likes left, and right. I don't know why. I have tried to make the page fun, and engaging. I put a lot of effort into the whole thing, but it seems to be failing. Or, maybe I'm failing to see it as it is. I don't know. It doesn't feel like I am helping people, or entertaining them, or what ever else people like pages for. I feel like maybe my page has run it's course, and it's failed to make it a big enough page to keep dumping so much time into. I just need to get some time away from it for perspective.
I will still be blogging, and updating my personal page. I am sure that I will miss my IA page, but I think I making a healthy decision. Thank you for reading.