Thursday, October 31, 2013

When Special Interests Lose Their Appeal

 I see my special interests like trees. Some grow big, and strong, and some only make it to saplings, grown out of a seed of another tree.  My interest in psychology, for instance is a mighty oak who has grown for about 20 years. It has spawned many other saplings in it's time, but none have outlasted the tenacity of the psychology interest.

Autism is another that is related, but not on the same tree. It's been around for almost 8 years now, and is strong, and been by far my most compelling interest, as it has a lot to do with my everyday life.  Some of the branches on that tree include this blog, and my Inner Aspie FB page. They're definitely a part of my interest, but they're not the totality of it.

Sometimes, I out of nowhere I will decide that I have had enough of a special interest. This might happen to a short term, or long term interest. Sometimes, how I know if I am about done with an interest is I begin to not enjoy it as much. It's not exactly that pronounced, though. I might become moody, and edgy.  I have that nagging, something needs to change feeling.


I have been feeling that way lately, as you can easily see by my recent blog entries.  It's the rut, not moving, feeling overwhelmed feeling that I cannot put my finger on that usually ends up that I need to let go of an interest that is no longer enjoyable.

After another serious disappointment with the school this morning I realized that I am over the edge of what I can fit on my plate.  I am cramming too much into a space that is already beyond capacity. My emotional reaction to everything is a tell-tale sign of this.

I have decided to let my Inner Aspie FB page go for the time being. I doubt it will be permanent. It may just be for a couple wks. It may be several months. I just don't know. Right now, I do not come away from being on it feeling refreshed, or happy the way special interests usually make me feel. I come away from being on there seriously irritated, and sad.  Despite trying my best to always try to make it a friendly page I have been getting a lot of negativity back. People wanting to argue over my every wording, or just not responding at all. I've been losing likes left, and right. I don't know why. I have tried to make the page fun, and engaging. I put a lot of effort into the whole thing, but it seems to be failing. Or, maybe I'm failing to see it as it is.  I don't know.  It doesn't feel like I am helping people, or entertaining them, or what ever else people like pages for. I feel like maybe my page has run it's course, and it's failed to make it a big enough page to keep dumping so much time into. I just need to get some time away from it for perspective.

I will still be blogging, and updating my personal page. I am sure that I will miss my IA page, but I think I making a healthy decision. Thank you for reading.

11 comments:

  1. I hope you can come back, soon. Take care of you!

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  2. Best to you and yours! <3

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  3. I get it! I'll miss your page as much as anyone, because I watch it daily but respond rarely because of my own "closeted" autism (is that a term?). Anyways you always make me think and also make me wish I were more open and perhaps will be more open one day.

    The conundrum of advocating for asperger's while having asperger's is very clear and almost ironic...

    I will follow you here still! I hope the break is a relief! I love letting things go that burden me... The feeling is amazing... I hope you get that!

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    1. Thank you! I will return soon. I appreciate your support!

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  4. I have appreciated your posts. You have some thought provoking insights and your honesty comes though. I think you are right to go with your gut and take a break if that is what feels best. I still want you to know that in spite of the negativity there are many of us that appreciate you.

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    1. Thank you! I do appreciate hearing that I make a difference. That makes a difference between me coming back, and moving on. I will be back soon. I just have to get things slowed down a bit. It took me this long to just reply to blog comments! I will find some even plane where things are less hectic, then I will be back!

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  5. I agree with the above comments. For me, and perhaps you as well, when something gets a negative association it is REALLY hard for me to "remove" it so your instinct to take a step back seems wise. Hope it's healing!

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  6. I agree with what the others have said. You need to do what's right for you and if something is not serving you, let it go for now and see how you feel.

    For what it's worth, I too always make a point of reading your posts and your page, although I don't always comment or contribute. It depends. The problem with FB is that everything ends up in the feed of others who are on your friend list. While I don't mind people seeing and knowing my views, I do, if you know what I mean? If it's something I like to share with others, I will put it on my wall but I have some strong feelings on the topic of ASD and I am not always prepared to share those with everyone unless the person is understanding.

    But you did well with that page and I always felt the majority of responses were on topic and helpful. The utility of social media in spreading ideas and information is tempered somewhat by the occasional unsupportive or off topic post but you kept those in check.

    Anyway, whatever you decide is right for you, I support you in that. Just wanted to let you know your efforts are and were appreciated. =)

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    1. Thank you! I think that due to my page being not always just light, small talk topics people felt like they wanted to reply, but like you mentioned, didn't want their post showing up in friend's feeds. FB really fails at privacy.

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