Mother's day was yesterday. I decided last week that I was wanting to try to take today (Monday) 'off'. Not that I can turn off my whole entire schedule of mom responsibilities, but I can take a day where I do less and take some time to do stuff I enjoy. My son seems to understand this more than I think most grown men! When he heard of my plans to take the 'off' he asked "Well, then who is going to do your work?" He understands that my work is vitally important and can't just be not done, or even put off to a major degree. This is something that my husband didn't understand the first 10 years or so of marriage and motherhood, so I am amazed at Bubby's perception.
Yesterday, I took the extra help from my husband who did the cooking and did as much housework as I could squeeze in. I arranged as much to be done and taken care of as possible, so today would be as relaxing as I can make it. Laundry, dishes and vacuuming, done. Well, as done as those things can get. I may have to do some today, but not so much. No errands to run, no meals to cook, just me allowing myself to relax before the kids get out of school on Wednesday. Then, it's on. Full time mom duty. Blogging and ability to keep up with my favorite on-line activities is sure to decline. I run my house on a very strict schedule, very much like a school. I have a specific time for everything. I may talk about that in a separate entry.
Last week, I also booked a massage for this morning, which was rescheduled by the office an hour before I was supposed to be there for this afternoon. I have never had a massage before, so I was nervous enough without the time change. I have no idea what to expect and am thinking of doing a search to get an idea. I need a social story about massages! lol It's not just that I don't know what to expect, or that I'm afraid I won't like all the touching (not sure how I'll feel about that) or that I'm afraid the therapist will want to talk the whole time, which I do not want, but I am having that guilt of spending money and time in ways that I feel are frivolous. You see, I am cheap. Notoriously, penny-pinching, over worrying, cheap, frugal, spendthrift, whatever you want to call it. I don't like to spend money. I especially don't like spending money on myself, when I know it's not something of necessity. It is killing me to think about spending $70 on a massage. Not something I can wear or see, or use. A massage.
So, today I take on the challenge of being okay with doing something new, which is scary, but potentially very enjoyable, as well. I have to take that breath feel the anxiety and jump in anyway. If I don't I'll never know if I like it, I'll never have that experience and I'll miss out on the opportunity to grow. For today's addition to the Mindful Series I am thinking that my willingness to try new things balanced with a healthy sense of hesitation, but getting through it in a positive way is a step in the right direction to where I want to be.