Rediscovering Me

Today is Daylight Savings Time! Yay. or maybe nay? I don't seem to have a strong opinion on it, really. I'm not a morning person, that is for sure. However, I love and need sun. By the time mid-march comes around my body is begging for a dose of vitamin D via the afternoon sun. Where I live the temperature this time of year can vary wildly from below zero to upper 70's. The norm is typically in the 50's and 60's, which without much wind can make for a pleasant afternoon out.

As the blooms on the trees start becoming more and more noticeable so does my overall feeling of optimism. The air is fresh as I inhale deeply under the blue sky, and warm sun. There is still a chill in the air when the breeze brushes my skin, but it's gentle, less crisp than autumn or winter. The green patches of grass and early spring flowers popping up against the brown dead winter ground promises new days ahead. It's enough to get me through the still gray winter sky that pops up here in there until May. As I sit outside and experience these last days of winter I feel a promise of spring that fills my spirit with hope.

Often smells and certain environments bring on a sense of nostalgia for me. Spring sun feels like love, for instance. I was married 20 years ago this spring. The air feels like memories long forgotten by the mind, but not by the heart. Inside the sensory experience of my memories the chill is receding as I prepare for the cleansing that spring showers bring.

In this rediscovery of who I was, compared to who I am and who I want to be I often recall certain things from my past that used to be part of my character. One trait that seems to be resurfacing is my love for fashion. Not in the conventional way, as much as my own style. When I was a teen I loved to create my own style. I always had a certain flair for mixing vintage clothing with traditional pieces to express my own taste. I loved small amounts of make up and matching my nail polish to my shoes.  guess much of this fell by the wayside as I had children. I feel like I lost parts of myself in becoming a mother, but also found parts of myself, too! This love of style is one of the things lost, but find reviving as my children grow into young adults. It's probably quite a shock to anyone who actually knows me that I almost went to cosmetology school as a teen. That is how much I loved hair, and make up. I decided to take business classes instead, but I don't recall why. Probably my love for personal space made being a hair dresser feel too difficult.

This year (as I talked about in my new year's post) I plan on letting my creative side out a little and having fun with re-creating,  enhancing my style, paying no mind to the opinions of others. It should be fun!