As some of my longtime readers know, one of my more subtle special interests is dream interpretation. It's really not too far a jump from their to one of my bigger interests, psychology. I don't do the reading for omens type of, but more along the lines of deeper understanding of what my dreams represent about what I am feeling behind the scenes, so to speak.
Last night I had a dream that I lived in a house that was a mish mash of houses that I have lived in, and others I haven't. I had to go up to the attic for some reason, and that is when I discovered that there were several homeless people living up there. I was shocked. There was only one small room, and some old dilapidated furniture. It was sparsely furnished, and cold. At one point, I decided to sit down, and try to talk to some of the people living there. I attempted to sit on a loveseat, but there were holes in it, and the springs were sticking out. One of the people told me it was due to a rat infestation, but that they had recently gone. I was still a little afraid to sit anywhere, because I was afraid that a rat would come out, and bite me. I began to get acquainted with some of the people living there. There were two ladies, a little boy, and a coupe older women. I was heartbroken about the little boy, but the others insisted that he was better there than at home. I wanted him to come with me, but he was not ready. In fact, none of them were ready. I kept coming, and going as I tried to decide how to handle the situation. It was one that most others wouldn't understand, and I knew I had to find my own way to deal with it. Most people wanted me to just toss them all out by force, but I knew I couldn't. I knew they'd all come out of there in their own time, and I would be able to gently persuade them to come down safely. I began visiting them, and getting to know all the people that lived there. I was able to get a couple of them talked down, and to dinner.
One time while I was up there as I was cleaning, and exploring I noticed some sort of passageway, or something. Somehow, I went from being in the attic to this hallway that seemed long, and mysterious. As I crept down a black, and white checkered hall I came upon a room, and went inside. It was what looked to be a living room lavishly decorated with furnishings from another time. Bucket type of leather seats, and shag carpet. A console TV glowed from a corner of this dim lit room. I felt suddenly like I was intruding on another time. Kind of like it was haunted, and I was an unwelcome guest.
I ran back out of the room, and went further down the hall, which now looked like a regular hallway in an older Victorian style home. I came upon room after room all beautifully decorated, and fully furnished. The closets were full of clothes that matched the era the room was decorated for. It was as if each room was abandoned minutes ago, yet I knew it had to have been empty for years. Towards the end of the hall it was darker, and the walls looked less cared for. I creaked open a door to the last room, but I was overcome by fear of what lurked inside. I ran away, and back into the part of my home I was accustomed to.
Later on, I returned with my husband, and some other people.I wanted to show them the hidden rooms that I had found. I warned them that it felt haunted, but they assured me that it was not. When we entered the room where the TV was on I explained to them that this was one room that would prove that it was haunted. They told me that was impossible. The owners of this part of the house had gone away decades ago, but I insisted they had to still be around somehow, because the TV was on. When we entered the room the TV wasn't on this time. We went into each room which seemed to have in it something that I can remember from my life growing up, such as a chair from my grandparent's house, or a telephone from my aunt's. When we came to the end of the hall where I was too afraid to go before I suddenly didn't feel so afraid with others with me. We went into the room, and it was another corridor to yet more of this seemingly never-ending house.
There was someone with me who knew all about the previous owners, and what each room was for. He explained that one room, for example was for the lady of the house to can in. It was a big room filled with porcelain tubs, and shelves. A big porcelain pressure cooker that was the best in it's time sat on one side of the room.
The kitchen was expansive, and had a whole room for food. Every box, and kitchen appliance was left in it's place as it was years ago. I didn't want to disturb any of the vintage food. It all looked so perfect lined up on the shelves. Everyone else wanted to start throwing all the old food away, but I didn't want them to. I knew that I wanted to eventually move into this place, but I wasn't ready to just yet, and I wasn't sure it felt right to throw things that felt so valuable to me away.
This was all that I remembered.
After looking up some dream symbols, and thinking about it all day I think I have deciphered some meaning out this very vivid dream. I think the homeless people in the attic was telling me about some of my fears, and hidden memories. There are a lot of aspects of my past that I feel are negative, and that I probably spend a lot of time trying to cover up, and make up for, but now am beginning to accept as okay. The rats (negative judgements, and fears) were gone, but the damage was still very evident. I began trusting my own instinct, and found that things worked out. That is when I found the hidden rooms, which signifies finding new roles, and discovering new strengths. The fact that it was one that was abandoned also adds to the fact that I am doing this in a way of leaving the past behind. The first time when I was by myself I felt afraid, and somewhat limited, but when I came back with others I felt more confident. I was able to go into all the rooms, which opened up even more rooms. By leaving things behind that no longer support me, and instead moving forward with those who do I found even more potential. Not only was I able to discover new territory, but it was rich, and full of potential. Each room contained within it the finest quality of furnishings available.
I think this dream was spot on with so many things that have been happening in my life. I am always afraid to stand up for myself in some personal situations, but lately I have been. As a result, I have grown as a person, and found the vast pool of potential that was inside me all along when I focus on the people who support me vs. those who judge me.