Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Wife and Mother of Two Unable to Express Affection on Social Media [Satire]

*********This blog entry is satire, and intended for entertainment purposes only.
 I know this is not my usual writing style, but it is truly how I think. I really enjoy satire comedy, and would like to incorporate some of this natural thinking style into my blog writing. I hope you enjoy it, but if not that's okay, too. All that I ask is for you to NOT leave comments if you are not fully understanding what satire means. Thank you.************

-Local mother, Jane Smith scrolls past a cheerful graphic on her Facebook wall that says "Share if you love your daughter" leaving room for doubt in her family that she does indeed love her 10 year old daughter Sarah.

"She always scrolls right past them, and never shares." says Sarah tearfully.

Jane admits that what Sarah says is true. She maintains that she doesn't share graphics about having the 'best son ever', either. "It's just that I find that amount of sharing to be nonsensical" she explains.

Jane's husband, Bob also finds himself wallowing in doubt about his wife's true feelings for him. "While other wives share their affections openly via social media about their husbands Jane is always suspiciously quiet about her personal life when posting on social media sites."

"Bob is not incorrect." says relationship guru Dr. Fruad. "We often see many women posting via their mobile devices how much they love their husband to Twitter, and Facebook right from the couch where they both are sitting. If a man wants to know how his wife feels about him he can usually tell by checking her timeline." he explains.

So, what if you're mired in doubt about a spouse who prefers to not profess their love to everyone in their immediate family via social networking? "Don't lose hope." urges Dr. Fruad. "Maybe, try to send them a message letting them know how you feel. You might try to let them know that dinner, and the long walk together while chatting last night was nice, but you need more. If you're bold, you might try to leave them a little love graphic on their timeline, or even tag them in the comments of a suggestive photo. See if you can lead by example."

Since the interview Mr.Smith has tried some of Dr. Fruad's ideas, and reported some progress in Mrs. Smith's willingness to express her love for him, and the kids via Twitter, but little progress has been made with Facebook, or Instagram. He said he is willing to keep trying, though.


  1. ROFL! I love it! Feel free to write more satire. I also skip those things. :-)

    1. Thanks! I could write them all day long if I had time. All I have to do is write what I think 50% of the time anyway. lol

  2. Bwahahahaha! This is hysterical.

  3. Wow--I'm just like this woman--I NEVER share my feelings on social media.


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