Today I came across this image from a page I belong to on Facebook.
I really had to spend a moment thinking about what this meant, and how I could apply it to my life. I love praise and to know when I'm getting things right. Who doesn't? I also even more so, hate criticism or blame. I feel a burden of shame, guilt and unworthiness when faced with blame. So, to find logic in those two sets of what appears to be opposite states I would have to concede that I was a different person when one or the other occurs. Am I not the same exact being that I was when I was getting praised at one moment as I am the moment I am feeling blame? Well, yes, of course I am. My true self didn't change. I am still me. So, then what has changed? Maybe the circumstance? Maybe, my emotions? Maybe my perception? Maybe someone else's circumstance, emotions, or perceptions changed in that moment to create their opinion to shift. Either way, it's so important to remember that we are not our feelings. Feelings and judgements are temporary. We might notice the gratitude another gives when they praise us. We may take it in and appreciate the warmth. We may also notice blame when it arrives at our doorstep. It may not be as warm and welcoming as the praise, but it's got it's own place in life. We can invite it to stay and to go. I know that it's just temporary. It's like the storm raging down on the rock. It was there before the storm and it will be there after. It can push back, using up energy uselessly, or it can just sit and know that this too, shall pass. The praised me is just as valid as the blamed me. I strive to be the rock. Wise and grounded.