#Autism & Self-Acceptance

I posted a pretty long post on my FB page about how I process emotions after I yet again, took something too seriously that my husband had said, and made a bigger deal out of it, than it really was.  This is something that always happens to me.  When I say always, I mean at least a few times a week.  It doesn't help that I have a hubby that I swear has ADHD, and everything is a joke to him.  My autistic brain is literal, and I often feel like he's making fun of me, when he is just interpreting the world in the way his brain is wired.  Anyway, this is what I wrote:

"Emotional regulation issues, and autism/asperger's. I find that I get irritated, and anxious by minor issues often, only to realize later while looking back that the thing that seemed so upsetting, or anxiety provoking really wasn't that big of a deal in the first place. I sometimes am embarrassed about my overreaction to seemingly insignificant occurrences, and the anxiety about how others might view me in light of my meltdown, or the anxiety about it happening again will keep me from trying new things, and socializing, if I let it.

As I have gotten acquainted with ASD, and what it's all about I have become aware of the reasons behind this phenomenon. One big one is weak central coherence (inability to see the bigger picture) and the other two are executive functioning issues, combined with difficulty in detecting, and describing emotional states. It's hard for me to see the bigger picture when I see something that goes wrong in my mind. I lose sight of how to get it back on track, and struggle with understanding how to deal with mounting emotions.

The last, but least of these triggers is, the deep down fear that I am being judged harshly by others, and won't/don't measure up. I think this reason is one that most, on or off the spectrum can relate to, but for those of us that seem to get things wrong so often, self-doubt is often a big obstacle to overcome when trying to regulate our emotions. I can lash out defensively, as if I deep wound has been ripped open, because in some ways, for me it may feel like it has. Learning mindfulness, and lot, and lots of opportunities to learn self-acceptance has helped a lot."

 

Then someone asked a million dollar question: How do/did you learn self-acceptance?  Can you give some examples of that?

How I Experience Empathy

For a couple of years now, I have wanted to write something about autism, and empathy.  I wasn't sure what, though.  I (as usual!) don't fall into the same belief system as anyone else I know of about this subject.  I find most views to be be extreme.

On one side, I see the ones that think we have no empathy, or at least the typical capacity for it.

Then , the other that contends we have too much to the point we're all empaths.

I don't believe either of those to be true for myself, or my boys from what I have experienced, and known of ASD. So, where does that leave me?

Aspie Negativity

This is a stir the pot kinda post.  You've been warned now. If you're not in the mood for thinking about broad issues, then you might not want to keep reading. If you think you can keep an open mind, then keep reading. If comments get out of hand I will have to moderate them.  Please, don't make me do that by leaving nasty comments. Thank You!

There is this thing that I see happen often among autistic people. As with everything, it's not black, and white.  Not every autistic person does this, and NTs can do it, too, but I find it to be a very, very common trait among autistic people.

Basically, it's not seeing the forest for the trees type of thinking. It's the idea that if one tiny thing is wrong (in their eyes) in a vast quantity of right, the wrong is still worth bringing up, and making a big deal about it.

School Update

As promised, I am updating about the school situation with Bubby.

I won't give you a run down of who said what, and a play by play, because that takes too long, and is frankly boring to read.  It went, overall , well.  As requested, the behavior consultant, and the autism specialist attended, as well as Bubby's special ed teacher.  This wasn't really a strcuctured meeting, but rather a forum to throw out ideas, and strategies to take to the IEP meeting, so that we can amend the IEP appropriately.  Normally, we would not have to hold a full meeting to amend the IEP, but since the staff seems to never be on the same page we will have a full meeting.  I think the date was scheduled tentatively for the 25th, with the understanding that much of what we discussed would be put in place immediately.

We decided that it would be best at this time if Bubby never had any homework to take home.  Instead, we found a space in his day where he could work on any unfinished work he might have at school.  If there is no unfinished work, then he might  have time to relax, and do something fun. This is going to make the rest of the team mad, because they vehemently disagree with the idea of no homework. 

Mindfulness In Adults With Autism Spectrum Disorders-Guest Post

Guest post by: Dr. Annelies Spek. She writes at : Autism and Minfulness.org

Information about the author:

Dr. Annelies Spek is clinical psychologist and senior researcher at the adult autism center in the southof the Netherlands (Eindhoven). Her Ph D thesis was entitled: cognitive profiles of adults with high functioning autism (HFA) or Asperger syndrome. Now she examines the effects of treatment in adults with autism. She also gives lectures about diagnosis and treatment in adults with autism.

Furthermore, she gives mindfulness training to adults with autism and she developed a training program for clinician s (who work with adults with autism) on this subject. For more information about (mindfulness in) adults with autism: here- mail address is anneliesspek@hotmail.com

The original book ‘Mindfulness in adults with autism’, has not been translated in English yet. If you would like to be informed about this in the future, send me an email. If you have any ideas that might help to have the book translated in English, please contact me!

anneliesspek@hotmail.com

Kind regards,

Annelies Spek

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Introduction

Autism is a lifelong developmental disorder that affects functioning in multiple  areas. Recent studies show that autism is often accompanied by other psychiatric  symptoms, including depression, anxiety, hyperactivity, inattention and distress in general. Evidence suggests that depression is the most common psychiatric  disorder seen in autism (Ghaziuddin et al., 2002). Especially adults with relatively high cognitive ability seem at risk for developing symptoms of depression, possibly because they are more aware of expectations of the outside world and their inability to meet those.

Symptoms of depression in adults with autism seem different than in other individuals, ranging from irritability to an increase in difficulty with change and sensitivity for sensory stimuli (Ghaziuddin et al., 2002). An important aspect of depression and distress in people with autism is the tendency to ruminate. This can be described as a drive to think repetitively and experiencing difficulty to let thoughts go. For instance, adults with autism often lay awake at night, pondering about the events of the day and analyzing those in detail. The tendency of people with autism to ruminate appears related to the detailed information processing style that characterizes autism.