Friday, May 3, 2019

Someone So Unimportant

I've never been an overly friendly neighbor. I wouldn't say I am not friendly at all, just maybe not social? I'm not going to want to chat every time I see my neighbors outside when I step out, or maybe even wave if I'm in a hurry. Every now and then a chat is okay and if they need something I'm always happy to help others.

However, we have some new-ish neighbors to the side of us whom are elderly and quite social. If the lady catches you outside it's a chore to get away in less than 20 minutes. She seems pleasant on the surface, but often her words are finely woven with hidden snark covered with charm. It's an art some older women excel at, especially the further south you go.

My point is, I have spoken to her enough times to get a feel of her personality. I have heard her screaming orders and insults at her husband enough to get a picture of who she is. I know her daughter lives around the corner and doesn't visit often to get an idea of who she is.

So, the other day when I was talking to her and she asked about my day with Beans and I said I was just getting home from taking him to speech therapy. She asks, "Is he verbal at all?" I said no. "But, he goes to speech therapy. Okay" She replied kind of rolling her eyes.
I told her that he learns sign language. She realized that this does make sense, because she has a couple of disabled grandchildren that use sign language to communicate.

The exchange ends, eventually and I go inside. Nothing else happens. I'm only slightly annoyed and I don't even bring it up to my husband. As a matter of fact this happened a couple, maybe three weeks ago.

I just couldn't get upset over someone so unimportant. Her words were right in line with the character that I had seen her be. This was about her and not about my son or me. How could I take that personally? It wasn't. She showed me who she was and she was being that person. Maybe it's being raised in an environment with so many dysfunctional characters, but I can pick out toxic behavior patterns quickly, very quickly. Logically, I know these patterns are not about me and not to take them personally and not to get involved with them on a personal level.

I also think there's always been part of my ego that is immune to needing approval from others in certain ways. Like, I care if you think I am a bad person because of a specific reason, but I don't care if you don't like my style of clothes,  parenting, speaking, ect... I always hope to keep the integrity of my character up, but other than that I do what I want.

Is this an introvert thing? An autistic thing? Both? I don't know. I suspect all of the above.

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