Anxiety and Routine Change- preparing for surgery

About four months ago I posted an entry titled 'Could it Be Irritable Bowel Syndrome?' I have a major update to that post.

I did follow those steps for awhile, and my stomach did not feel better. As a matter of fact, some of my issues got even worse. Thankfully, I have obtained insurance (Thanks Obama!) to actually see a doctor about what to do next.

It took me several visits to finally get my regular doc to hear what I was saying. I think this is not due to her inadequacy, but more leaning towards my failure to communicate in ways people understand. I am still trying to work out why I am not able to typically get people to listen, and respond to me when I need something. In this instance, I finally wrote down all of my symptoms, and brought them with me to the office for my appointment. That got immediate results. Upon hearing all of my symptoms my doctor said it sounds like I have endomentriosis. She scheduled me for a appointment with an OBGYN.

At that appointment he concurred that it sounded like endo, and he quickly got me scheduled for a surgical  procedure called laproscopy that would take pictures of my reproductive organs to see if endometriosis, or anything else was present.

The results were that I did indeed have a fair amount of endo. scarring, and a condition known as adenomyosis, or enlarged uterus. These were definitely the cause of so much of my stomach distress, which has worsened considerably the last few months. The doctors all assured me the only cure is a hysterectomy. Without one, the problem would likely continue to worsen until menopause. I am several years away from that, so I have opted to get the hysterectomy.


I am scheduled to have it done Tuesday (July 29th).  While I am a little nervous about the procedure itself I am more nervous about the recovery time. I don't know how everything I usually do is going to get taken care of. I am nervous that I will have a mental breakdown while watching my house fall to shambles. Of course, I know I am being dramatic, but it is how I feel. I am up on my feet busy cooking, cleaning, and taking care of Beans most waking hours of the day. I don't know how everyone else is going to be able to step in, and do it all. I really like my routine. I am not trying to be negative, but I anticipate that I will likely struggle with the recovery time in the way of not being able to do my regular day to day activities. My general doctor did as well. She's known me for over 12 years, so she has an idea of what I'm all about. She sternly told me not to be exercising for 6 weeks. She is not incorrect in her assumption that that will be a tall order for me. I will definitely be sure that I ask the doctor Tuesday what that means, exactly. I understand that I can't be using weights, but I may be able to do some lighter type of exercise, though. I hate to lose all the progress in fitness that I have made!

I am trying to prepare my mental health probably more than my physical as the day of surgery draws near. I am choosing to feel grateful for the opportunity to have this health concern taken care of, but anxious about the whole situation. I acknowledge the anxiety, and am preparing as best as I can for what I know may be a difficult situation. One can never fully prepare for everything. That is often how anxiety gets us looping around wasting our energy. We tend to believe that we're being proactive with worry, but it rarely works that way. Instead of telling myself that I will be fine, and other canned answers I am trying to put together some facts about what to expect. Kind of like an adult social story. I know I am not going to feel fine. I am going to be in pain, and anxious about a lot of different things. If I can prepare myself with solutions then I will be more relaxed, and less stressed. Change is hard for me, but not impossible.

Thanks for reading, and wish me luck!