tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post456420700108017749..comments2024-03-28T09:17:32.426-05:00Comments on Thoughts of an Introverted Matriarch: Aspie NegativityQuiet Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14667867394641955283noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-18360961958776120032014-04-21T12:36:45.205-05:002014-04-21T12:36:45.205-05:00I totally agree with everything you said. I get pr...I totally agree with everything you said. I get pretty ragey when I am going through my Google news alert emails and come across some of the WP forum threads that sometimes appear in them. I know being angry isn't a positive mindset, either, but the sheer ignorance, and superiority complex of some of those people get under my skin.<br /><br />There are plenty of us out there, You just have to look. Many I find our parents of ASD kids, and that is what the page/blog name tends to be about, even though we're on the spectrum, too. I am guessing this is due to being older, and more mature, and let's face it- like you said in your post you're not going to get very far socially if you behave negatively all the time. In order to obtain a long term partner, and have kids one has to be able to see past themselves, and some of us have an easier time doing that than others. Of course, this isn't always the case, but it often is. I have a page you can join on FB that is usually positive, or at least not overwhelmingly negative all the time.Quiet Contemplationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14667867394641955283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-35384096808511297352014-04-12T12:48:02.549-05:002014-04-12T12:48:02.549-05:00I have Asperger's and I most of the times am p...I have Asperger's and I most of the times am positive, although I had been negative allot when in primary and high school, probably because of bullies. But I have changed because I saw I would not be able to make any friends with that kind of attitude, much less a positive and happy fulfilling life. I am not fan of many ASD communities or even live Aspie meetings and groups, because most of the times there is lots of NT bashing (I'm against stereotyping groups of people), overall negativity of how disabled one is or what one can not do (I believe anything is possible if we all try hard enough), seeing only mistakes of others and not their own, feeling of superiority because one has AS, so much negativity towards life and many topics turn into criticizing one another for having different opinion on a thing. I totally detest that kind of attitude. It often times reminds me of some Depression groups when everyone is just talking about what bad happened to them, how they can't go on, how everyone's wrong and they are right, how it's life's fault that they are depressed (while not doing anything for themselves), and they criticize many things. but even some Depression groups are better than what I see on many Aspie sites like WrongPlanet. When I am searching to share some positives or talk about anything openly, you can rarely find a group like this. Not a good place for an open-minded optimist at all or anyone that wants to be encouraged. Often times I feel much more understanding in open-minded empathetic NT groups than within Aspie ones, even though I have AS. Sometimes I can really feel negative vibes when reading posts in many Aspie sites. And I totally agree with what you said. Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16483749805250454992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-55128653020610204752013-05-17T10:06:57.405-05:002013-05-17T10:06:57.405-05:00Thank for reading, and commenting! It helps me to ...Thank for reading, and commenting! It helps me to know that my blog is being read, which encourages me to write more. <br /><br />I feel like I learned about AS early compared to you. I was diagnosed when I was 30 (or 31, can't quite remember). Learning about it has helped my my life be 1,000% better. I hope you're having the same experience!Quiet Contemplationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14667867394641955283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-13703511152458638202013-05-16T20:58:01.603-05:002013-05-16T20:58:01.603-05:00I feel like you just pegged me. A few minor errors...I feel like you just pegged me. A few minor errors can ruin a whole book for me. It is very distracting to the story line. I love word puzzles, but I don't like the ones that are optional answers. I much prefer a solution, a definite right answer.<br /><br />I've only come to realize recently (in my 50's) that I may be a person with Asperger's. It gives me a lot of insight into my childhood and my reactions to people and events. <br /><br />Thanks for your blog. I've learned a lot from what I've seen so far. Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03629132084441191734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-56986136957737592972013-04-15T10:38:51.301-05:002013-04-15T10:38:51.301-05:00Disability rights is a passion of mine, but I also...Disability rights is a passion of mine, but I also find the politics too demanding. Sometimes, it's not aspies that are the loudest in these areas, but autism parents who like to call themselves advocates, but they are definitely not advocating for anything I would like for them to, or in a way I find remotely comfortable. This is a big reason I have disengaged from some groups recently.<br /><br />Being married has helped shape my views a little bit into being a little more compassionate of how my criticism might sound on the other end. I am not good at knowing what to say when, but I am better then I used to be, and learning to keep quiet if I'm in doubt.Quiet Contemplationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14667867394641955283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-22465568495326655652013-04-15T10:33:33.748-05:002013-04-15T10:33:33.748-05:00That's pretty much how I am. Or, I would neve...That's pretty much how I am. Or, I would never see any reason to comment if nothing was wrong. That used to be my logic. Kinda like the if it's not broken, then don't fix it way of thinking. I would not see why I would bring up things that are right, but I didn't realize people like positive feedback sometimes, too! <br /><br />Also, I think there is a difference in seeing something that isn't quite right, and informing someone, rather than being rude about it, which I've never seen you do. Like, the other day, on an autism charity page an aspie left a comment about how the page owner was not using the term Pay it Forward correctly, which was a difference in opinion, not a fact. They left a scathing long post on the page describing all the reasons why they didn't like the way term was used, and why they wouldn't be liking that page any longer. It was a total overreaction. It was an awful thing to say on a page that only serves as a charity for ASD people, yet that aspie couldn't let go that the grammar was not used properly, so she can't abide the page. That's the kinda negativity I am talking about when I wrote this post.Quiet Contemplationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14667867394641955283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-26313041845368041022013-04-15T10:25:37.237-05:002013-04-15T10:25:37.237-05:00It takes patience, and skill for some of us! It...It takes patience, and skill for some of us! It's hard to do.Quiet Contemplationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14667867394641955283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-65315998826126213322013-04-15T10:24:14.555-05:002013-04-15T10:24:14.555-05:00Exactly. Those people waste a lot time being angry...Exactly. Those people waste a lot time being angry at the wrong things. I think your point about with autism vs autistic was spot on. I think the same goes for NTs that make the same argument, but usually the other way around. They're both missing a bigger picture here. Kids are being hurt, in more places than just the JRC, and they're worried about their world feeling 'safe' because someone used a term they don't like? Ridiculous.Quiet Contemplationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14667867394641955283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-26351955744066153492013-04-13T13:20:28.850-05:002013-04-13T13:20:28.850-05:00Yes, this. Very much this. I recently had someone ...Yes, this. Very much this. I recently had someone attack a post of mine just this exact same way. It is also the same reason I don't get into rhetoric about the disability rights movement... I do think that many people do a horrible job of picking their battles, as The Colonel above said, and it feels to me like a giant shut-down of the rest of the world. I too, am guilty of finding the "one tiny wrong thing", but after having been screamed at repeatedly growing up for pointing out other people's faults, I learned that you don't say things like that. And if it's so bad that it's causing big issues, you say it very quietly if you have to say it at all... and chances are, someone who is "better" at social will say it first if it is "really a problem". Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-17272063813422454492013-04-13T10:47:41.113-05:002013-04-13T10:47:41.113-05:00Something I only noticed recently, at almost 39 ye...Something I only noticed recently, at almost 39 years old, is that I simple ONLY SEE WHAT IS WRONG, usually. If things seem right, in place etc, they simple do not stand out and therefore have no reason to be commented on. They completely escape my notice. But, let one tiny detail be out of place, one thing in the corner not stacked neatly, one sentence phrased wrong and it jumps out at me waving its arms and screaming up and down..."look at me, look at me!" It does cause me to be very very critical at times, but I don't mean to be. I simply notice the "out of place" and completely miss everything that is in place. Does that make any sense?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-62040968932348922552013-04-13T07:40:14.218-05:002013-04-13T07:40:14.218-05:00I'm not an aspie, but I can see this trait in ...I'm not an aspie, but I can see this trait in me at times. I've tried to refrain from commenting in lots of situations, and see the positive aspects of things. Dixie Redmondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18290571323764327616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-75219839798765526642013-04-12T23:39:42.536-05:002013-04-12T23:39:42.536-05:00I'm an NLD'er, and I kind of cringe whenev...I'm an NLD'er, and I kind of cringe whenever I see other Autistics turn differences of opinion or minor annoyances into an issue of ableism. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people on the spectrum who are seriously being discriminated against-- but there comes a point where you need to pick your battles.<br /><br />Just think, "Which is more important-- getting really angry at someone for calling me a 'person with Autism,' or getting really angry at the people who run places like the Judge Rotenburg Center?" Because to me, the first option strikes me as an honest mistake that I make a lot-- I go back and forth between calling myself an "Autistic," "NLD'er," "Aspie," and "A person with Autism/NLD." The other option strikes me as a very heart-wrenching cause worth fighting against-- nothing makes me angrier than thinking about those kids being abused by people who are supposed to be caring for them. It isn't that there aren't any wrong-doings happening to Autistics, it's just that we're picking the wrong battles a lot of days. Great post!The Colonelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15886377049900941267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-83561197429280313602013-04-12T21:25:03.214-05:002013-04-12T21:25:03.214-05:00I'm chuckling because it has taken me until no...I'm chuckling because it has taken me until now (almost 40) to know what most NTs instinctively knew at 20! :) Life lessons... always the hard way. obnursesherrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10943930070303922706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-47253521401119719262013-04-12T21:20:22.863-05:002013-04-12T21:20:22.863-05:00I totally get what you're saying. I should ha...I totally get what you're saying. I should have probably added to the post that this is a relatively new skill that I have gotten (not perfected mind you) in my 30's. I know for a fact that I have lost friends due to 'being negative', but I had no idea what they meant. I thought they were picking on me, and being mean to me. I am just trying to possibly help explain to younger aspies out there what I wished someone had explained so clearly to me when I was younger. Quiet Contemplationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14667867394641955283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8053855593846713089.post-84906692498120785612013-04-12T21:14:09.569-05:002013-04-12T21:14:09.569-05:00I think many of us are guilty of this. I think th...I think many of us are guilty of this. I think that for me - it is because I may perceive the question differently. If I were listing what I don't like about restaurants,it would not be because I want to be negative but because I think you honestly wanted my opinion and I want to let you know that I feel I have a valid reason for not wanting to eat at Bob's Diner, Jim's Grill, or Susie's Drive Thru. <br /> <br />I see what you are saying about a positive spin. I could say (and I do try to say) positive things. Instead of "I don't like" it would be better to say "I like Rob's Steakhouse or Mike's Burgers" Please know though - that while my list of what I don't like may be perceived as being negative - in my mind I think of it as being truthful and presenting facts. :) Thanks for the reminder.<br />obnursesherrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10943930070303922706noreply@blogger.com