Monday, July 2, 2012

Oh Snap. Bubby's Grounded

It is rare for Bubby to get into any real trouble. I think it simply never occurs to him to not follow rules. It also makes it that much harder for me to punish him when he does get into trouble.  I always feel like a big meanie.

Yesterday, he and his sister headed for a local fireworks stand.  CJ had saved up some of her money that she is putting together with a group of friends, so that they can have their own fireworks celebration.  Being 14 I suppose she has her own activities to attend and fun things to do.  Bubby wanted some fireworks, too.  I told him he hadn't earned enough allowance to pay me back for the DS game I bought for him a couple weeks ago.  The first game was a gift that he lost, so I told him if he wanted a replacement he'd have to buy it himself.  If you follow my FB page, you will probably have read the thread about this.  He didn't seem to understand the concept of credit and thought that he wouldn't have to pay me back.  We talked about earning allowance and being responsible for our belongings and all that. I think he got it.

So, anyway... back to the fireworks... I told him I'd give him some money to buy ONE box of Snap Dragons (his favorite).  He will have to wait to get the rest when we go as a family on Tuesday or Wednesday.  I have no idea how much one box costs.  I'm not much into fireworks, and obviously it's just a yearly thing, so I just handed him a $5 bill.  I made him repeat that he understood he was only to buy one box and bring me back my change.  So, imagine my surprise when he came home with a bag hanging on his arm filled with boxes of Snap Dragons.  Turns out, CJ didn't know the rules and asked him how many he wanted and he took this as a green light to spend the whole $5 I sent him with.  I wasn't buying that it was her fault, though.  I asked him why he bought more than one box. He says "because I wanted more."  "Even though I said just one?" I asked.  "Yes" he replied. "One is not very many".  So, I knew he knew the rules, but made the decision to not follow them anyway.  I confiscated his entire bag and told him he could have them back on the Wednesday.  He cried, and pleaded and said I didn't love him, but I stuck by the punishment.  It was hard, because he hardly ever does anything wrong.  I just felt terrible, but I know in the long run, he will be a better person for it.

4 comments:

  1. It's so tough dealing out the consequences ... but he WILL be a better person for it.
    But why oh why do we end up feeling like the biggest piece in the toilet bowl when we do this?
    We know it'll help them learn consequences - but then we feel so darn guilty.

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    1. LOL! You description of my emotional state when I have to enforce rules is right on!

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  2. Thankfully parenting isn't a popularity contest. I can't tell you how often my teenage NT son told me he hated me. He's growing up into a happy, confidant young man and I'm sure it's partly due to the boundaries we set (and enforced).
    You did the right thing XXX

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    1. Thank you. I often hear people complaining about how their kids behave and I can tell that a big part of that is that the parents are unknowingly reinforcing the behavior, because they don't want to be the 'mean parent'. It's hard and feels awful, but so worth it!

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