Thursday, June 16, 2011

More Changes

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been making lots of positive changes in my life this last year.  It's not been easy, and change doesn't always feel good at first, but eventually becomes habit.  I quit smoking 1 year and 3 months ago.  That was a huge, liberating change that I feel led to more.  It's motivational when you conquer something so monumental that you get a momentum going to try another challenge.  The next challenge, getting healthier.

I had put on some weight while quitting smoking as well as adopted new, undesirable eating habits.  I had stopped taking my thyroid medication due to lack of funds to afford the lab at the doctor and meds.  (which I may say was my perceived lack of funding, as my husband would vehemently disagree with me not taking my meds no matter how broke we were) This led to weight gain and depression.  I also feel it's worth mentioning to anyone who might come across here that's quitting smoking, females will often have a hypothyroid after quitting smoking and should get it checked.  I don't know if nicotine masks the symptoms of hypothyroid, or if smoking does something to the gland itself, but it seems common to have it be under-active after quitting.  I require a higher dose since I quit to maintain optimal levels of the hormone.Just a tid bit of info, I found worth mentioning, because it's awful when you keep gaining weight no matter your best efforts to lose it when it could be something so simple as not having optimal levels of thyroid in your body.

I have also been working on feeling better over-all.  This has been a challenge, too.  It's been up and down, and all around in progress.  I don't think I can measure progress of such a thing like I would with something like weight loss, but as a human, I will try.  I have not been doing so well at finding time to meditate, but I have been doing better at finding time in the day in small moments to breath, be in the moment.  I try to do be aware of the moment and all it holds once an hour or so.  I have been trying to think of a way to set an alarm to to little Mindful/Meditation breaks, but I haven't thought of one yet.  I saw some software that you can put on your computer that essentially did this, but I'm not at my computer most of the day.  I thought that maybe I can set my alarm on my phone, but I haven't done so yet.  I think that reminding myself to be here, now, and aware of the present helps to train my brain to do so, even in times when I might feel overwhelmed.  I can get a sense of calmness and perspective.  As I do this, I hope that I can get a clearer sense of self, and worthiness of being me, which will also bring about a new perspective.  I see it kind of like polishing my mirror.  When I polish my mirror (do positive things for myself that make me feel good) I shine back at others brighter.  Others begin to like the reflection they get when they spend time around me because I project a positive image back at them.  I not only leave others in a better way then before they came across me, but I also attract more positive things with a more positive projection. 

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