Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Does Eating Give You Pleasure, Or Make You Anxious?
I find the above article interesting.  While I am not anorexic I do tend to fall along the same patterns and could probably be diagnosed with Eating Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified. I have also seen lots of studies that point to anorexia being extremely common in females with AS.  So much so in one article I read (sorry can't remember where it was) it was referred to as the female AS.  Males and females differ in their expression of autism, females tend to be more anxious and more akin to an eating disorder, though I have heard of some males on the spectrum who have eating disorders, too.

I remember the first time this sort of thing occurred to me.  I was 12.  I was quite underweight for my height, and was teased for it often at school.  Still, I remember for whatever reason that I felt fat and put myself on a chocolate milk diet.  I don't know why chocolate milk.  lol I hate milk, and it has a lot of calories, but who said the whole thing was rational to begin with?   This began my lifelong struggle with body image and weight issues. 

I don't know that I feel anxious per se when I eat, but I don't ever feel happy, or good about it.  I have never understood why people eat for emotional reasons, like being sad, or even what comfort food is.  Makes no sense to me.  I have never craved a specific food.  I have favorite foods that I like, but it is beyond me what a food craving is even like.  Though, I do get anxious when I eat when I am feeling self conscious and there are peole around.  i feel like they are judging me because I am eating too much, or the wrong things.  I eat before and after going to social occasions, because I can't eat in front of others very well.  It makes me nervous, and I already feel nervous enough being around people.

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